I am home and I can't tell you how great it is to be back. A lot has happened and I will just offer a few bullet points...
-Been home about two weeks. I got to meet up with some friends down in San diego and we had a great time on Halloween weekend. It was the perfect way to welcome myself home. Wish I had had a costume, but in a way my civilian clothes were my costume. I didn't make it to a single formation when we were in San Diego.
I win.
- I bought a car. I got the car I always wanted when I was in high school and early college: a Chrysler Sebring convertible. It has been a dream come true getting to roll around in the Southern California sunshine with the top down. I will never have a hard top again.
- Met up with the guys in Vegas. That was an epic weekend. First bar fight, first damaged hotel room, first time being robbed, first time blacking out. And all within budget. I can't go to much more into detail because I think that my mother still reads this, but lets just say that Vegas is just a wonderful place.
-I went to the beach before I voted on Tuesday. It was around 90 degrees out and just amazing. I love California. Why anyone wouldn't want to live in a place where you can go to the beach in November is beyond me.
-And finally, I registered for spring classes yesterday. I can't tell you how excited I am about this. But not only that, I think that I can make it through my degree by spring '08. Just in time for the 10 year high school reunion. Hahahaha My spring schedule is a light one, only three classes, though I may want to add another simply to get a little more bang for my buck; it costs the same for 12 units as it does 16. I am taking a persuasion class, media and society, and Arabic. I decided that since I plan on staying in the military for quite a while, it will behoove me to learn Arabic. It will be interesting. I picked up some words and phrases here and there over in Iraq, but I couldn't understand any of the writing. I think that I am up to the challenge though.
I don't feel that there is a huge culture shock or adjustment for me right now. I think that I kept my sanity on my deployment so I am moving along just fine. The biggest thing for me right now is that I have absolutely no structure to my day at all. I mean, I am not wishing I had to work, but sometimes I just stand around and don't know what to do. While I may have had a lot of slow spots overseas, my life was still pretty much all laid out for me. Now though, I am just roaming around.
The other tough thing I have noticed around campus is that I don't really know that many people who are left. I have recognized at least a dozen people though, and they are all grown up now. Awkward freshman are now confident, mature, filled out upperclassmen. I do a double take when see them. And most of them don't remember me. Kind of normal I guess.
I'm Back!!!
Friday, November 10, 2006
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Reminiscing a bit on work...
In less than 24 hours I will be on a flight out of the Middle East.
Whew!!
This year has been nothing like I expected. For starters, my job was a lot more administrative than I ever could have imagined. Everything I had imagined an MP would do in a combat zone (convoy security, raids, law & order types of things, gate guards) never materialized for me. Hell, my weapon wasn’t even loaded 99.9% of the last year.
I was the supervisor of the detainee in-processing section of a prison. Think about that. Every person arrested, released, and transferred came through our doors. We processed 51,000 detainees. D you have any idea how badly 51,000 Iraqis smell? I was on the phone with the Pentagon weekly. Hell, I used to talk shit to people who worked at the Pentagon!!
Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to toot my own horn or anything. It just boggles the mind to think that I, a college flunkie with bad grades and absolutely zero experience, was placed in charge of all that. Seriously, do you think I could get a job as a manager/supervisor at San Quentin? Or a supervisor position at central booking for the LAPD? They wouldn’t even call me back. Or if I was lucky and I got to start at the bottom, would I make it to the big chair in only 5 months? The Army really is an amazing organization.
The most important thing that I tried to pass on to my replacements was how important their job was. For a lot of them, it is simply a boring desk job, but it really is a job where they can literally see how they are affecting the war. Every person they enter into the system is one less on the street. Every fingerprint they take may help catch a criminal later on. So while it may not be as glamorous as what the guy who arrested the detainee did, it is just as important.
I will miss the people I worked with a lot. From time to time we butted heads, but they were almost always on the ball and they made my job so much easier. One of my favorite things to do was to deflect praise from myself to my crew. They worked as a team and made everything happen.
It wasn’t always easy. We seemed to have bad luck in the supervisor department. We went from one who was confrontational, incompetent, never consulted his shift leaders, and literally contributed nothing, to one who believed that our job was not real work because we sat behind computers. There were full on arguments on this subject often. I fought tooth and nail. Sometimes I won, sometimes I lost. But I think everyone knew I had their back.
I guess it just boiled down to the fact that I didn’t like doing things that made no sense, and I was very open about it to whoever it was that was requesting things that made no sense. What was even worse was when they called and seemed to have no idea what they were talking about. These are 5 of my favorite phone calls in this regard:
Example 1:
Phone: I need you to fix this mistake you made on detainee such and such’s record.
Me: I can’t. He got transferred and so they need to do it.
Phone: NO!!! This is YOUR mistake and YOU will fix it.
(Just Breathe Charlie)
Me: I don’t have privileges to adjust the record of someone who isn’t here. So they have to do it.
Phone: Fuck, you are right.
(What a surprise)
Example 2
Phone: Yeah, I put such and such number into the system and got more than one person with the same number?
Me: Really? Hmmm Well let me punch in the number… Ok, one of these is some sort of civilian record. I think his badge number was just the same as the detainee’s detention number. That will happen from time to time.
Phone: Well which is the right guy?
Me: Dude, one picture is of a young guy in a yellow prison jumpsuit, the other is of an old man in a business suit.
Phone: So which is it?
(Oh, great one, deliver me!)
Example 3:
Phone: Why don’t we have copies of the records for yada through yada-yada?
Me: I don’t know, I took you records yesterday. They are probably in there.
Phone: Well they aren’t there and we should have these.
Me: Ok what are the numbers again? Wait? I am looking at them sitting right in front of me; we just started putting them in the system! Why are you calling me about these? I bring records to you every Wednesday. Today is Thursday, so on Wednesday you’ll get them. We’ve been doing it this way for months. What is wrong with you?
(Are you freaking kidding me?)
Example 4:
Phone: Why did you do this system transfer?
Me: I don’t know it was on the other shift.
Phone: Well you need to go and wake them up because we need to know exactly why this was done and why we weren’t notified. Don’t you guys have some sort of log book that you keep track of this stuff in, so everyone knows what is going on? You guys really need one. I am going to send one of my people over with it tonight. I’ll even mark it “log book” for you.
Me (after waking up the other shift leader): I woke him up and he said they told you guys both before and after the transfer happened this morning. Did you check YOUR log book?
Phone: We don’t have one.
Me: You want to keep the one you were gonna send us for yourself then?
Phone: We don’t need one because we communicate with each other.
Me: You sure didn’t communicate this time did you?
Phone: You are enjoying this aren’t you?
(You bet your sweet ass I am)
Example 5:
Phone: Hey what is up with such and such?
Me: I don’t know let me check.
While checking I hear a voice in the background on other end of phone: Who are you talking to?
Caller: SGT Baker-Boyd
Voice: What!! Don’t talk to him, talk to the other guy!!
(I think that moment was one of the most fulfilling of the entire deployment)
Whew!!
This year has been nothing like I expected. For starters, my job was a lot more administrative than I ever could have imagined. Everything I had imagined an MP would do in a combat zone (convoy security, raids, law & order types of things, gate guards) never materialized for me. Hell, my weapon wasn’t even loaded 99.9% of the last year.
I was the supervisor of the detainee in-processing section of a prison. Think about that. Every person arrested, released, and transferred came through our doors. We processed 51,000 detainees. D you have any idea how badly 51,000 Iraqis smell? I was on the phone with the Pentagon weekly. Hell, I used to talk shit to people who worked at the Pentagon!!
Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to toot my own horn or anything. It just boggles the mind to think that I, a college flunkie with bad grades and absolutely zero experience, was placed in charge of all that. Seriously, do you think I could get a job as a manager/supervisor at San Quentin? Or a supervisor position at central booking for the LAPD? They wouldn’t even call me back. Or if I was lucky and I got to start at the bottom, would I make it to the big chair in only 5 months? The Army really is an amazing organization.
The most important thing that I tried to pass on to my replacements was how important their job was. For a lot of them, it is simply a boring desk job, but it really is a job where they can literally see how they are affecting the war. Every person they enter into the system is one less on the street. Every fingerprint they take may help catch a criminal later on. So while it may not be as glamorous as what the guy who arrested the detainee did, it is just as important.
I will miss the people I worked with a lot. From time to time we butted heads, but they were almost always on the ball and they made my job so much easier. One of my favorite things to do was to deflect praise from myself to my crew. They worked as a team and made everything happen.
It wasn’t always easy. We seemed to have bad luck in the supervisor department. We went from one who was confrontational, incompetent, never consulted his shift leaders, and literally contributed nothing, to one who believed that our job was not real work because we sat behind computers. There were full on arguments on this subject often. I fought tooth and nail. Sometimes I won, sometimes I lost. But I think everyone knew I had their back.
I guess it just boiled down to the fact that I didn’t like doing things that made no sense, and I was very open about it to whoever it was that was requesting things that made no sense. What was even worse was when they called and seemed to have no idea what they were talking about. These are 5 of my favorite phone calls in this regard:
Example 1:
Phone: I need you to fix this mistake you made on detainee such and such’s record.
Me: I can’t. He got transferred and so they need to do it.
Phone: NO!!! This is YOUR mistake and YOU will fix it.
(Just Breathe Charlie)
Me: I don’t have privileges to adjust the record of someone who isn’t here. So they have to do it.
Phone: Fuck, you are right.
(What a surprise)
Example 2
Phone: Yeah, I put such and such number into the system and got more than one person with the same number?
Me: Really? Hmmm Well let me punch in the number… Ok, one of these is some sort of civilian record. I think his badge number was just the same as the detainee’s detention number. That will happen from time to time.
Phone: Well which is the right guy?
Me: Dude, one picture is of a young guy in a yellow prison jumpsuit, the other is of an old man in a business suit.
Phone: So which is it?
(Oh, great one, deliver me!)
Example 3:
Phone: Why don’t we have copies of the records for yada through yada-yada?
Me: I don’t know, I took you records yesterday. They are probably in there.
Phone: Well they aren’t there and we should have these.
Me: Ok what are the numbers again? Wait? I am looking at them sitting right in front of me; we just started putting them in the system! Why are you calling me about these? I bring records to you every Wednesday. Today is Thursday, so on Wednesday you’ll get them. We’ve been doing it this way for months. What is wrong with you?
(Are you freaking kidding me?)
Example 4:
Phone: Why did you do this system transfer?
Me: I don’t know it was on the other shift.
Phone: Well you need to go and wake them up because we need to know exactly why this was done and why we weren’t notified. Don’t you guys have some sort of log book that you keep track of this stuff in, so everyone knows what is going on? You guys really need one. I am going to send one of my people over with it tonight. I’ll even mark it “log book” for you.
Me (after waking up the other shift leader): I woke him up and he said they told you guys both before and after the transfer happened this morning. Did you check YOUR log book?
Phone: We don’t have one.
Me: You want to keep the one you were gonna send us for yourself then?
Phone: We don’t need one because we communicate with each other.
Me: You sure didn’t communicate this time did you?
Phone: You are enjoying this aren’t you?
(You bet your sweet ass I am)
Example 5:
Phone: Hey what is up with such and such?
Me: I don’t know let me check.
While checking I hear a voice in the background on other end of phone: Who are you talking to?
Caller: SGT Baker-Boyd
Voice: What!! Don’t talk to him, talk to the other guy!!
(I think that moment was one of the most fulfilling of the entire deployment)
Saturday, October 14, 2006
A Reading From Charlie's Letter to The San Franciscans...
It seems like I have written more than a few apologies for my lack updates to the real world. Since you said pretty please though...
Tonight there was a gorgeous lightning storm off in the distance. It is just one of the most amazing things to watch. I decided to walk back to work from the dining facility so I could keep watching the show.
"Joke's on you Chuck!!!"
Mother Nature pretty much bitch slapped me on the walk back. First there was a freaking sandstorm that literally almost knocked me over. Then it started to rain, which turned the dry sand storm into kind of a mud sand storm. That really was an uncomfortable walk back. Though I it was gorgeous until elements kicked in.
I just moved out of my barracks today and into the transient tents. I will be outta here in less than a week and in Sacramento in about two.
I fucking win.
We had to move in the morning which was a pain in the ass because it did not leave me an opportunity to sleep last night. So as of 0100 here in Baghdad, I am running on 36 hours of no sleep and will probably reach 40 before I get to bed; even then there is no catching up because I have to wake up for some ridiculous ceremony or something. I better get a damned award, otherwise it really wont be worth it.
It was weird packing. I had the incredible mixed emotions of wanting to go home yet not wanting to pack up any of my stuff. I think I just hate moving in general; subconscious point could also be that we were leaving nice comfy barracks for shitty tents. But I am gonna be home in two weeks!!
I am thinking more and more that if I ever come over here again it will be as a civilian. I would make at least 3 times the money and would have a lot more comfort and freedoms. Someone was talking about a position that would be quasi-related to my experiences here and it has me really thinking about things. It all depends on what happens with my attempt to get back into school I guess. But if the point of going to school is to set yourself up for a means to live comfortably, is it bad to take a means that doesn't require it? Seriously, would it make sense to put off school for a year and come back with between 150 and 200 thousand in the bank? Put off school for a year and then go back to school not having to worry about money at all. Hell, maybe finish school making house payments instead of rent payments.
Just curious.
I think that I will really miss my job when I get back. This is the first time that I have ever really run something. I mean, obviously I am down on the chain, but what I have been doing is important and I'll miss being a part of something big. I'll miss my crew and I'll miss being the one that people come to to make decisions. I won't miss being away from home and I wont miss some of the hypocrites that I work under. But I will miss making things happen.
But the best parts of my days recently have been planning my time home until Christmas.
I am pretty much just going to be bouncing around between the two ends of California (with a trip to Vegas tossed in) until the week before Turkey Day. That week, my mom is taking me to NYC for my first ever trip. I am pretty stoked about that; though I am NOT stoked about the parade I am sure I'm gonna have to watch.
From NYC I am gonna skip across the pond to London and visit Brian and the Brits. I am pretty excited about that. I want to try to go to a couple soccer games while I am there. I'll be in England about three weeks.
From there I fly to Barcelona where I plan to live the hedonistic lifestyle of the traveling tourist. Culture by day and partying by night. Everyone I know who has been there has loved that city. So I just hope I do too. 10 days in Barca baby!
Anyways, my playtime takes me to Christmas. After that I will have to decide for sure whether or not I enroll in classes or get a job. But I decided that before I do all of that, I finally make it to Europe. No more excuses.
Anyways, there is a summary of what goes on in my little world right now. It is actually kind of funny, I feel like everyone will be so different and I will be behind the ball. I don't know if you watch South Park, but it is like 1995 man (or whatever year it was). Dude gets frozen in an avalanche for like 3 years and comes back and the world has completely changed (you know, no more Ace of Base). I just hope I don't end up having to move to Boise like he did.
Tonight there was a gorgeous lightning storm off in the distance. It is just one of the most amazing things to watch. I decided to walk back to work from the dining facility so I could keep watching the show.
"Joke's on you Chuck!!!"
Mother Nature pretty much bitch slapped me on the walk back. First there was a freaking sandstorm that literally almost knocked me over. Then it started to rain, which turned the dry sand storm into kind of a mud sand storm. That really was an uncomfortable walk back. Though I it was gorgeous until elements kicked in.
I just moved out of my barracks today and into the transient tents. I will be outta here in less than a week and in Sacramento in about two.
I fucking win.
We had to move in the morning which was a pain in the ass because it did not leave me an opportunity to sleep last night. So as of 0100 here in Baghdad, I am running on 36 hours of no sleep and will probably reach 40 before I get to bed; even then there is no catching up because I have to wake up for some ridiculous ceremony or something. I better get a damned award, otherwise it really wont be worth it.
It was weird packing. I had the incredible mixed emotions of wanting to go home yet not wanting to pack up any of my stuff. I think I just hate moving in general; subconscious point could also be that we were leaving nice comfy barracks for shitty tents. But I am gonna be home in two weeks!!
I am thinking more and more that if I ever come over here again it will be as a civilian. I would make at least 3 times the money and would have a lot more comfort and freedoms. Someone was talking about a position that would be quasi-related to my experiences here and it has me really thinking about things. It all depends on what happens with my attempt to get back into school I guess. But if the point of going to school is to set yourself up for a means to live comfortably, is it bad to take a means that doesn't require it? Seriously, would it make sense to put off school for a year and come back with between 150 and 200 thousand in the bank? Put off school for a year and then go back to school not having to worry about money at all. Hell, maybe finish school making house payments instead of rent payments.
Just curious.
I think that I will really miss my job when I get back. This is the first time that I have ever really run something. I mean, obviously I am down on the chain, but what I have been doing is important and I'll miss being a part of something big. I'll miss my crew and I'll miss being the one that people come to to make decisions. I won't miss being away from home and I wont miss some of the hypocrites that I work under. But I will miss making things happen.
But the best parts of my days recently have been planning my time home until Christmas.
I am pretty much just going to be bouncing around between the two ends of California (with a trip to Vegas tossed in) until the week before Turkey Day. That week, my mom is taking me to NYC for my first ever trip. I am pretty stoked about that; though I am NOT stoked about the parade I am sure I'm gonna have to watch.
From NYC I am gonna skip across the pond to London and visit Brian and the Brits. I am pretty excited about that. I want to try to go to a couple soccer games while I am there. I'll be in England about three weeks.
From there I fly to Barcelona where I plan to live the hedonistic lifestyle of the traveling tourist. Culture by day and partying by night. Everyone I know who has been there has loved that city. So I just hope I do too. 10 days in Barca baby!
Anyways, my playtime takes me to Christmas. After that I will have to decide for sure whether or not I enroll in classes or get a job. But I decided that before I do all of that, I finally make it to Europe. No more excuses.
Anyways, there is a summary of what goes on in my little world right now. It is actually kind of funny, I feel like everyone will be so different and I will be behind the ball. I don't know if you watch South Park, but it is like 1995 man (or whatever year it was). Dude gets frozen in an avalanche for like 3 years and comes back and the world has completely changed (you know, no more Ace of Base). I just hope I don't end up having to move to Boise like he did.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
50-14
On Sunday morning I made my way down to the rec room to see if I could catch some highlights of America’s team, the USC Trojans, slapping around the little piggies of Arkansas. I assumed that the game wouldn’t be broadcasted on AFN since it was on at the same time as the Notre Dame game. Well not only did I walk into the rec room to find the Trojans on the big screen TV, but I also found myself surrounded by hordes of Arkansas fans.
You see, it had totally slipped my mind that we have an Arkansas National Guard unit working with us. I swear more than half of them were in there to watch the game. So needless to say, I found myself in enemy territory. This is both a good thing and a bad thing. It kind of sucks because it is always fun to be able to high five at least one other person each time the Trojans lay the smack down. On the flip side, it is great getting to watch so many people dejected as they realize that their team is nothing more than players USC didn’t want.
We Californians are lucky that we have multiple college and pro teams from our state that we can choose to follow. People from Arkansas have one.
That’s it; one.
Hell, even Oklahoma gets two college teams to follow. Other places with only one football team to follow: Nebraska and Los Angeles.
I knew that they had issues when their loudest, most organized cheer was for a first down. One would think that a scoring play would give out the most celebration. Though, I can understand their cheering so rowdily for first downs, scoring plays were so few and far between. Arkansas seemed to have more turnovers than points.
When the game got out of hand, I tried to cheer up one of the Arkansas faithful by commenting that the 50 points USC scored this year was a lot less than the 70 they scored against them last year. For some reason he didn’t find any enjoyment in his team’s 20 point improvement. So I tried again by passing on information from an article I read about how the top high school running back in the state of Arkansas had committed to play for USC.
What better way to raise the spirits?
You see, it had totally slipped my mind that we have an Arkansas National Guard unit working with us. I swear more than half of them were in there to watch the game. So needless to say, I found myself in enemy territory. This is both a good thing and a bad thing. It kind of sucks because it is always fun to be able to high five at least one other person each time the Trojans lay the smack down. On the flip side, it is great getting to watch so many people dejected as they realize that their team is nothing more than players USC didn’t want.
We Californians are lucky that we have multiple college and pro teams from our state that we can choose to follow. People from Arkansas have one.
That’s it; one.
Hell, even Oklahoma gets two college teams to follow. Other places with only one football team to follow: Nebraska and Los Angeles.
I knew that they had issues when their loudest, most organized cheer was for a first down. One would think that a scoring play would give out the most celebration. Though, I can understand their cheering so rowdily for first downs, scoring plays were so few and far between. Arkansas seemed to have more turnovers than points.
When the game got out of hand, I tried to cheer up one of the Arkansas faithful by commenting that the 50 points USC scored this year was a lot less than the 70 they scored against them last year. For some reason he didn’t find any enjoyment in his team’s 20 point improvement. So I tried again by passing on information from an article I read about how the top high school running back in the state of Arkansas had committed to play for USC.
What better way to raise the spirits?
Friday, August 25, 2006
Travelling
(I have skipped over all the in Iraq travel stuff and start typing in Kuwait)
Hour 1
Here I sit in a foreign airport, Kuwait International. Through all the cigarette smoke I can faintly make out that I am surrounded by local merchants with names I don’t recognize: Hertz, Starbucks, Fuddruckers, and Birkinstock to name a few.
Seriously, this place is like an American mall.
There is allegedly a wireless internet going on here, but I can’t get on. I connect to a network that gives me nothing. So alas, I do not get to MySpace in my 4th country.
Two women of European ancestry come walking through the Starbucks, they are a good 6 inches taller than all the local men.
HA HA.
One thing I would like to throw in about this ridiculously spacious and nice looking terminal is that outside are the only healthy grass lawns I have seen in the Middle East. I mean this stuff is as good as the illegal immigrant laid stuff back in California.
Anywhooooo…
I am on my way home for emergency leave. My Grandmother passed away and the Army found it in their collective heart to let me come home for the funeral. Though I was only approved 5 days of leave which, I discovered upon my arrival in Kuwait, includes my travel time!!! So, I actually only get 3 days back home. My request for an extension has already been typed and simply awaits an internet connection.
I have an hour to make it through all the lines now to my flight.
I will write more later.
Unless of course I have to check my laptop because of the idiot terrorists in London.
Argh.
They make me upset. I can’t brush my teeth at anytime during my nearly 24 hour flight process home because of those idiots. Someone needs to get those terrorists girlfriends or something, or at least playstations.
Peace.
Hour 4
Beautiful Dubai!!
I tried to spot the most luxurious hotel on the planet on the approach, but alas, I saw nothing except an absolutely massive terminal being built. It seemed like we were driving by the pitch black terminal for 10 minutes. Crazy.
We are sitting here while we refuel. I was excited to step foot in a new place only to find out that we can’t leave the plane, walk around on the plane, go to the bathroom, or use our cell phones. At least we are only here and stuck in our seats for an hour. They could at least put on a movie or something.
Jeeeze
Back in Kuwait I waited in line to get to the counter only to find out that they had overbooked my flight and I was being booted off.
Lovely!!
Freaking Northwest. I have never been a fan and this doesn’t endear them to me anymore; though they did give me a $300 voucher for my trouble. But still, if you have 100 seats on a plane, why in the blue hell do you sell 105 tickets? I don’t get it. Oh, and it is assigned seating.
I mean, doesn’t it toss up a flag, when you have more than one person assigned to the same seat?
With such wonderful customer service it does not surprise me at all that airlines go bankrupt.
Needless to say, I ended up on Olympic Air (a Greek airline) and we are going from Dubai to Athens to Amsterdam. Then from Amsterdam I get a direct flight to LAX.
Why fly to LA instead of Sacramento you ask?
Well while the good people at the Army are letting me come home, they are not being very accommodating to the two services in two different locations. So unless I wanted to spend whatever free time I get after the funeral driving back to Sacramento, it was a round trip to LA. Though, the bump from the original flight is going to seriously fuck up my hop up to Nor-Cal.
Hour I don’t know.
I am now in the air over Athens. I can’t see any ruins though, which sucks. I am seriously going to have to actually come to these cities whose airports I have visited on this deployment, Shannon, Budapest, Athens, Dubai, Amsterdam, and Las Vegas.
Ok, so I threw that last one in there; seriously though, there is always room for a trip to Vegas.
So I am finally sitting next someone on the plane. Pretty cool cat. She is an engineering student in Amsterdam traveling with her twin sister and other family members. She has never heard of the Foo Fighters or the open seating that Southwest does on its planes. I think I have managed to turn her into a Foo Fighters fan though. She has also translated the comics she was reading for me. Same old stuff as the states but it was in Greek. I got to tell her, “It’s all Greek to me.”
I win.
When I told her I wanted to go visit Athens, she said it was the worst part of Greece and I should go somewhere else; and Athens is her hometown!! What is it with people and hating their hometowns?
I would love a layover right about now.
Seriously, Grandma would understand if I didn’t make it to her funeral because I felt the urge to live it up in Amsterdam for a night right?
It just looks so beautiful.
Amsterdam has a nice airport. It also has a restaurant with one of the worst steaks I have ever eaten. And since the dollar is shit in Europe, it cost me 24 bucks for a tiny steak and a beer.
I lose.
They have a little casino and museum here in the Amsterdam airport. I fought the degenerate urge and stayed away from the casino. Though I couldn’t fight the snob urge and went to the little museum. It was an odd display, a few dozen fake Rembrandt’s. I thought it was a silly exhibit. I mean, way to flaunt all of your purchase mistakes. I mean, if I were a prestigious museum, I would really try to hide the fact that I bought a bunch of fakes because I didn’t know the difference. I guess if there is a format for turning nothing into something, it is the airport. Downtown Vegas would be a great spot too.
Man it is great to be back in California.
It just feels good when I get off a plane and am home; I consider the entire state my home. Nice and sunny, attractive people (though there were a lot of those in Amsterdam too), and just as a write that I see one of the So-Cal doosh-bags go strolling by. This clown is wearing a soccer jersey, a brown blazer, and a beret.
What The Fuck?
Home Sweet Home I guess.
The girl at the Southwest desk was very helpful and hooked me up with an early flight up to Sacramento. So I wont be cost all that much time from the KLM/Northwest fuck-up in Kuwait. Though the Army’s screw-up will cost me at least a full day at home.
So far I've have had the row to myself on everyflight except for one, and it definitely made the time go bye faster having someone to talk to, especially since I couldn’t seem to be able to sleep even though I have been up for about 2 days. Insomnia is a bitch.
And so is a dead laptop battery.
Hour 1
Here I sit in a foreign airport, Kuwait International. Through all the cigarette smoke I can faintly make out that I am surrounded by local merchants with names I don’t recognize: Hertz, Starbucks, Fuddruckers, and Birkinstock to name a few.
Seriously, this place is like an American mall.
There is allegedly a wireless internet going on here, but I can’t get on. I connect to a network that gives me nothing. So alas, I do not get to MySpace in my 4th country.
Two women of European ancestry come walking through the Starbucks, they are a good 6 inches taller than all the local men.
HA HA.
One thing I would like to throw in about this ridiculously spacious and nice looking terminal is that outside are the only healthy grass lawns I have seen in the Middle East. I mean this stuff is as good as the illegal immigrant laid stuff back in California.
Anywhooooo…
I am on my way home for emergency leave. My Grandmother passed away and the Army found it in their collective heart to let me come home for the funeral. Though I was only approved 5 days of leave which, I discovered upon my arrival in Kuwait, includes my travel time!!! So, I actually only get 3 days back home. My request for an extension has already been typed and simply awaits an internet connection.
I have an hour to make it through all the lines now to my flight.
I will write more later.
Unless of course I have to check my laptop because of the idiot terrorists in London.
Argh.
They make me upset. I can’t brush my teeth at anytime during my nearly 24 hour flight process home because of those idiots. Someone needs to get those terrorists girlfriends or something, or at least playstations.
Peace.
Hour 4
Beautiful Dubai!!
I tried to spot the most luxurious hotel on the planet on the approach, but alas, I saw nothing except an absolutely massive terminal being built. It seemed like we were driving by the pitch black terminal for 10 minutes. Crazy.
We are sitting here while we refuel. I was excited to step foot in a new place only to find out that we can’t leave the plane, walk around on the plane, go to the bathroom, or use our cell phones. At least we are only here and stuck in our seats for an hour. They could at least put on a movie or something.
Jeeeze
Back in Kuwait I waited in line to get to the counter only to find out that they had overbooked my flight and I was being booted off.
Lovely!!
Freaking Northwest. I have never been a fan and this doesn’t endear them to me anymore; though they did give me a $300 voucher for my trouble. But still, if you have 100 seats on a plane, why in the blue hell do you sell 105 tickets? I don’t get it. Oh, and it is assigned seating.
I mean, doesn’t it toss up a flag, when you have more than one person assigned to the same seat?
With such wonderful customer service it does not surprise me at all that airlines go bankrupt.
Needless to say, I ended up on Olympic Air (a Greek airline) and we are going from Dubai to Athens to Amsterdam. Then from Amsterdam I get a direct flight to LAX.
Why fly to LA instead of Sacramento you ask?
Well while the good people at the Army are letting me come home, they are not being very accommodating to the two services in two different locations. So unless I wanted to spend whatever free time I get after the funeral driving back to Sacramento, it was a round trip to LA. Though, the bump from the original flight is going to seriously fuck up my hop up to Nor-Cal.
Hour I don’t know.
I am now in the air over Athens. I can’t see any ruins though, which sucks. I am seriously going to have to actually come to these cities whose airports I have visited on this deployment, Shannon, Budapest, Athens, Dubai, Amsterdam, and Las Vegas.
Ok, so I threw that last one in there; seriously though, there is always room for a trip to Vegas.
So I am finally sitting next someone on the plane. Pretty cool cat. She is an engineering student in Amsterdam traveling with her twin sister and other family members. She has never heard of the Foo Fighters or the open seating that Southwest does on its planes. I think I have managed to turn her into a Foo Fighters fan though. She has also translated the comics she was reading for me. Same old stuff as the states but it was in Greek. I got to tell her, “It’s all Greek to me.”
I win.
When I told her I wanted to go visit Athens, she said it was the worst part of Greece and I should go somewhere else; and Athens is her hometown!! What is it with people and hating their hometowns?
I would love a layover right about now.
Seriously, Grandma would understand if I didn’t make it to her funeral because I felt the urge to live it up in Amsterdam for a night right?
It just looks so beautiful.
Amsterdam has a nice airport. It also has a restaurant with one of the worst steaks I have ever eaten. And since the dollar is shit in Europe, it cost me 24 bucks for a tiny steak and a beer.
I lose.
They have a little casino and museum here in the Amsterdam airport. I fought the degenerate urge and stayed away from the casino. Though I couldn’t fight the snob urge and went to the little museum. It was an odd display, a few dozen fake Rembrandt’s. I thought it was a silly exhibit. I mean, way to flaunt all of your purchase mistakes. I mean, if I were a prestigious museum, I would really try to hide the fact that I bought a bunch of fakes because I didn’t know the difference. I guess if there is a format for turning nothing into something, it is the airport. Downtown Vegas would be a great spot too.
Man it is great to be back in California.
It just feels good when I get off a plane and am home; I consider the entire state my home. Nice and sunny, attractive people (though there were a lot of those in Amsterdam too), and just as a write that I see one of the So-Cal doosh-bags go strolling by. This clown is wearing a soccer jersey, a brown blazer, and a beret.
What The Fuck?
Home Sweet Home I guess.
The girl at the Southwest desk was very helpful and hooked me up with an early flight up to Sacramento. So I wont be cost all that much time from the KLM/Northwest fuck-up in Kuwait. Though the Army’s screw-up will cost me at least a full day at home.
So far I've have had the row to myself on everyflight except for one, and it definitely made the time go bye faster having someone to talk to, especially since I couldn’t seem to be able to sleep even though I have been up for about 2 days. Insomnia is a bitch.
And so is a dead laptop battery.
Monday, July 31, 2006
27 candles...
Today is my birthday, but it is kind of hollow.
My grandmother died last week and I miss her.
She was an amazing woman.
My grandmother died last week and I miss her.
She was an amazing woman.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
We've moved and stuff...
I haven’t written anything in a while (I start way too many of these things off this way don't I?)because I have just been so damned busy.
I am a shift leader here at the new place so I am literally working on one thing or another for the entire 12 hour shift; of course this doesn’t count the extra time they add on before the shift, or the briefing I give the next shift leader. So all in all I am actually on task at work about 13.5 hours a day right now. At least I don’t get any days off to worry that my duties are not being handled properly.
Dude.
You know how I know that I have been doing a good job calling home and keeping the communication lines open to the outside world?
I called my mom and girlfriend the same day last week and both of them told me that they were busy and asked me if I could call back later.
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t upset; because, well, I could call them back later.
But still, ain’t it cool that a soldier in a foreign combat zone can do that?
I mean, damn, you think people back in Nam or Desert Storm got told to call back later when they called home?
Nope.
I take it as a compliment that I am fulfilling my obligation to stay in contact.
And also a get out of jail free card for if I ever am not able to call often.
Ha.
So there.
The thing about the new facility is that the AC’s work so well that everyone runs them full blast 24/7. Now, I would rather have an AC on to strong than not have one at all. But I don’t understand why everyone likes it so fucking cold. I mean, most of us are from California and Arizona.
Shouldn’t we be craving a little heat?
I am more comfortable hot than cold so maybe I am the only one who doesn’t like this.
I am like a freaking tour guide around here.
Because my processing room is like the epicenter of this whole operation, everyone and their administrative yes-man has come through trying to get a peak at the new digs. So I keep having to explain how things are going and shit. It ain’t that bad because I am normally a sociable person. But one day I had a 2-star general, 3 full-bird colonels, at least 5 lieutenant colonels, so many majors I lost count, and a partridge in a pear-tree come through.
Anywho…
I know I have said it before, but Alice in Chains made really great music. And their Unplugged album is one of my favorite things to listen to.
Hmmmmm…
I think it is time for a Top 5 list.
How about the Top 5 MTV Unplugged albums (in order this time…)
5. Jay-Z (The only reason this makes the list is that he had The Roots backing him up and they did amazing things with his beats.)
4. 10,000 Maniacs (I got this one in the mail from BMG and was pissed that I couldn’t return it because it had come when I was out of town. The disc turned out to be pretty freaking cool. It is the only recording of their music I have ever heard. Of course an unfortunate side effect is that it spawned Natalie Merchant’s
hard on the ears solo career.)
3. Alice in Chains (This is just a great album to listen to from start to finish. It has a great mix of mellow and edge.)
1b. Nirvana (This is just a masterpiece.)
1a. Tony Bennett (Tony Freaking Bennett!!)
I am a shift leader here at the new place so I am literally working on one thing or another for the entire 12 hour shift; of course this doesn’t count the extra time they add on before the shift, or the briefing I give the next shift leader. So all in all I am actually on task at work about 13.5 hours a day right now. At least I don’t get any days off to worry that my duties are not being handled properly.
Dude.
You know how I know that I have been doing a good job calling home and keeping the communication lines open to the outside world?
I called my mom and girlfriend the same day last week and both of them told me that they were busy and asked me if I could call back later.
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t upset; because, well, I could call them back later.
But still, ain’t it cool that a soldier in a foreign combat zone can do that?
I mean, damn, you think people back in Nam or Desert Storm got told to call back later when they called home?
Nope.
I take it as a compliment that I am fulfilling my obligation to stay in contact.
And also a get out of jail free card for if I ever am not able to call often.
Ha.
So there.
The thing about the new facility is that the AC’s work so well that everyone runs them full blast 24/7. Now, I would rather have an AC on to strong than not have one at all. But I don’t understand why everyone likes it so fucking cold. I mean, most of us are from California and Arizona.
Shouldn’t we be craving a little heat?
I am more comfortable hot than cold so maybe I am the only one who doesn’t like this.
I am like a freaking tour guide around here.
Because my processing room is like the epicenter of this whole operation, everyone and their administrative yes-man has come through trying to get a peak at the new digs. So I keep having to explain how things are going and shit. It ain’t that bad because I am normally a sociable person. But one day I had a 2-star general, 3 full-bird colonels, at least 5 lieutenant colonels, so many majors I lost count, and a partridge in a pear-tree come through.
Anywho…
I know I have said it before, but Alice in Chains made really great music. And their Unplugged album is one of my favorite things to listen to.
Hmmmmm…
I think it is time for a Top 5 list.
How about the Top 5 MTV Unplugged albums (in order this time…)
5. Jay-Z (The only reason this makes the list is that he had The Roots backing him up and they did amazing things with his beats.)
4. 10,000 Maniacs (I got this one in the mail from BMG and was pissed that I couldn’t return it because it had come when I was out of town. The disc turned out to be pretty freaking cool. It is the only recording of their music I have ever heard. Of course an unfortunate side effect is that it spawned Natalie Merchant’s
hard on the ears solo career.)
3. Alice in Chains (This is just a great album to listen to from start to finish. It has a great mix of mellow and edge.)
1b. Nirvana (This is just a masterpiece.)
1a. Tony Bennett (Tony Freaking Bennett!!)
Monday, July 03, 2006
Besame Mucho!!!
I am sitting in the computer lab waiting for the chopper that is gonna take me to the new base. I wish this wasn't a country full of people that wanted to kill us. If that were the case, I could just drive to the new base. Why couldn't we have liberated a nicer country? We should have liberated Cuba. They all hate Castro and are Catholic too. They would be much more grateful liberatees than these guys.
I kid you not, at work the other day, a cell phone went off. Seriously. I never thought I would have to post a sign that says to turn your cell phones off at work. I am in Iraq, yet sometimes it feels just like home.
I work with a lot of Spanish speakers. No big deal to me. However, my only other English speaking coworker asked one of them why they couldn't just speak English at work. He was asked what it would be like if he had to go somewhere and didn't speak the language. And if it would be better if he could speak his native tongue.
He replied that that was exactly how work was everyday for him since he is one of two people who doesn't speak Spanish.
They both just stood there in silence after words; not sure what language though.
Youtube is one of the greatest websites I have ever seen.
Wait, strike that.
It is one of the greatest things I have seen.
The Kings drafted a shooting guard for the third year in a row. I am not sure how I feel about that.
I know this is heresy in some circles, but part of me is really hoping that the Giants trade Barry Bonds to the American League before he leaves at the end of the year in free agency. He won't break the record as a Giant, so his box office draw is minimal. And since he is rarely in the lineup these days, his impact on the games is minimal too. I say trade him now before you get nothing at the end of the year.
I finally got a tour of Saddam's death house; where the executions were. I also toured the hard site; this is where he kept his political prisoners and where our little thing happened. I was really hoping to see pictures of Lindy England on the wall. You know, like a museum exhibit. Shoot, they could have even had cardboard cutouts of the detainees so that we could recreate the magic of those pictures.
I actually took a lot of interesting pictures which I plan to post on the blog once I can figure out how.
For some reason I am in the mood to watch the movie Kingpin. That is such a hillarious flick.
Definitely one of my favorite Bill Murray movies. Shoot, that inspires me. How about a quick top ten list...
Top 10 Favorite Bill Murray Movies (off the top of my head and in no particular order)
-Kingpin
-Rushmore
-What About Bob
-Lost In Translation
-Mad Dog and Glory
-Caddyshack
-Meatballs
-The Life Aquatic
-Ghostbusters
-Stripes
*let me know what your favorite Bill Murray movies are
I have not taken a hot shower since May. Isn't that awesome?
I win.
Oh wait, that actually really sucks.
I lose.
I kid you not, at work the other day, a cell phone went off. Seriously. I never thought I would have to post a sign that says to turn your cell phones off at work. I am in Iraq, yet sometimes it feels just like home.
I work with a lot of Spanish speakers. No big deal to me. However, my only other English speaking coworker asked one of them why they couldn't just speak English at work. He was asked what it would be like if he had to go somewhere and didn't speak the language. And if it would be better if he could speak his native tongue.
He replied that that was exactly how work was everyday for him since he is one of two people who doesn't speak Spanish.
They both just stood there in silence after words; not sure what language though.
Youtube is one of the greatest websites I have ever seen.
Wait, strike that.
It is one of the greatest things I have seen.
The Kings drafted a shooting guard for the third year in a row. I am not sure how I feel about that.
I know this is heresy in some circles, but part of me is really hoping that the Giants trade Barry Bonds to the American League before he leaves at the end of the year in free agency. He won't break the record as a Giant, so his box office draw is minimal. And since he is rarely in the lineup these days, his impact on the games is minimal too. I say trade him now before you get nothing at the end of the year.
I finally got a tour of Saddam's death house; where the executions were. I also toured the hard site; this is where he kept his political prisoners and where our little thing happened. I was really hoping to see pictures of Lindy England on the wall. You know, like a museum exhibit. Shoot, they could have even had cardboard cutouts of the detainees so that we could recreate the magic of those pictures.
I actually took a lot of interesting pictures which I plan to post on the blog once I can figure out how.
For some reason I am in the mood to watch the movie Kingpin. That is such a hillarious flick.
Definitely one of my favorite Bill Murray movies. Shoot, that inspires me. How about a quick top ten list...
Top 10 Favorite Bill Murray Movies (off the top of my head and in no particular order)
-Kingpin
-Rushmore
-What About Bob
-Lost In Translation
-Mad Dog and Glory
-Caddyshack
-Meatballs
-The Life Aquatic
-Ghostbusters
-Stripes
*let me know what your favorite Bill Murray movies are
I have not taken a hot shower since May. Isn't that awesome?
I win.
Oh wait, that actually really sucks.
I lose.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
The Little Things Make Me Happy
Just to reiterate how great it is to get some of the little things from the real world…
The two happiest moments I have had the last couple days are when we opened care packages from some church to find, among the other goodies, chocolate pop-tarts and salad toppings (you know, bacon bits, sunflower seeds, seasoning, etc.). I was so happy to finally be able to add some toppings to my salad at lunch today.
MMMMMMMMM
And chocolate pop-tarts are my favorite. I had actually been thinking about them earlier in the day when I was eating a blueberry pop-tart; the blueberry just isn’t nearly as good.
Tomorrow I am going to have French toast with breakfast, and a root beer float with lunch.
If only I could get a double French steakburger with cheese from Nationwide Meats in Sacramento. Then I would be in heaven.
The two happiest moments I have had the last couple days are when we opened care packages from some church to find, among the other goodies, chocolate pop-tarts and salad toppings (you know, bacon bits, sunflower seeds, seasoning, etc.). I was so happy to finally be able to add some toppings to my salad at lunch today.
MMMMMMMMM
And chocolate pop-tarts are my favorite. I had actually been thinking about them earlier in the day when I was eating a blueberry pop-tart; the blueberry just isn’t nearly as good.
Tomorrow I am going to have French toast with breakfast, and a root beer float with lunch.
If only I could get a double French steakburger with cheese from Nationwide Meats in Sacramento. Then I would be in heaven.
Monday, June 19, 2006
The World Cup and Whatnot...
The World Cup is a pretty big deal over here. It is really fun to not tell the scores to the detainees who have been caught. We talk about it enough to get them to ask us who is winning and who is losing, but then we don’t tell them. Hahahahahaha
It is great.
Anyways, they do things the right way over here. This Arab sports network is airing the games over pay-per-view to most of the countries in the Middle East. That doesn’t fly to well over here. Most of the citizens are not going to be able to afford pay-per-view. So a couple of the networks are broadcasting them for free. That is right, the network is paying the $100 bucks or whatever to buy the telecast, then airing it over their free airwaves for everybody to watch.
This is so freaking awesome.
And what is the Arab sports network gonna do about it?
Absolutely nothing is what.
The Iraqi government is too busy trying to set itself up and convince the people not to blow up buildings to worry about this kind of crap. I think that the FCC will be one of the last branches of the government they create. And besides, when the men are watching soccer, they are not out blowing shit up. Everyone wins, except for the Arab sports network trying to get over on the common folks.
Wouldn’t it be great if someone could get away with this in the states?
But this is how I have been watching the games, in Arabic. I go down to the interpreters’ quarters to watch on their little TV. It is fun because they are so into it. I would love to have been watching the games on Armed Forces Network, but they couldn’t secure the broadcast rights.
That is such bullshit.
AFN doesn’t have the money to pay for broadcast rights. Pretty much every American sports league lets us have the games for free; you know, it is part of that whole “thank-you for defending our freedom to turn a profit” thing. The World Cup, however, sold their international broadcast rights to some stupid Swiss company that is charging every country’s military network for the broadcast rights.
What assholes.
Though there is a shining light…
Good Ole Rupert Murdoch took some of the change out of his couch cushions and arranged for we servicemen and women to watch the matches involving team USA, the semifinals, and the final.
What a guy; you can read more on the Aussie's generosity by clicking here
So at least for the USA’s last match against Ghana, I will be able to understand what the broadcaster is saying. Though it really wasn’t that big a deal before, I mean, there is only one way to say Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooal!!
It is great.
Anyways, they do things the right way over here. This Arab sports network is airing the games over pay-per-view to most of the countries in the Middle East. That doesn’t fly to well over here. Most of the citizens are not going to be able to afford pay-per-view. So a couple of the networks are broadcasting them for free. That is right, the network is paying the $100 bucks or whatever to buy the telecast, then airing it over their free airwaves for everybody to watch.
This is so freaking awesome.
And what is the Arab sports network gonna do about it?
Absolutely nothing is what.
The Iraqi government is too busy trying to set itself up and convince the people not to blow up buildings to worry about this kind of crap. I think that the FCC will be one of the last branches of the government they create. And besides, when the men are watching soccer, they are not out blowing shit up. Everyone wins, except for the Arab sports network trying to get over on the common folks.
Wouldn’t it be great if someone could get away with this in the states?
But this is how I have been watching the games, in Arabic. I go down to the interpreters’ quarters to watch on their little TV. It is fun because they are so into it. I would love to have been watching the games on Armed Forces Network, but they couldn’t secure the broadcast rights.
That is such bullshit.
AFN doesn’t have the money to pay for broadcast rights. Pretty much every American sports league lets us have the games for free; you know, it is part of that whole “thank-you for defending our freedom to turn a profit” thing. The World Cup, however, sold their international broadcast rights to some stupid Swiss company that is charging every country’s military network for the broadcast rights.
What assholes.
Though there is a shining light…
Good Ole Rupert Murdoch took some of the change out of his couch cushions and arranged for we servicemen and women to watch the matches involving team USA, the semifinals, and the final.
What a guy; you can read more on the Aussie's generosity by clicking here
So at least for the USA’s last match against Ghana, I will be able to understand what the broadcaster is saying. Though it really wasn’t that big a deal before, I mean, there is only one way to say Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooal!!
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Bipolar motivation...
When I went through basic training over six years ago, our battalion commander came in and spoke to us on our first day. He gave a speech that motivated me through all of the rough times in my 10 months of training into the Army. He started out with all the normal crap about what a great thing we were doing for our country, how this would change our lives, and all the people back home who were rooting for us. Then it took an unexpected turn, he asked about the people back home who were not rooting for us, the people who were waiting for us to fail and return home with our tails between our legs, the negative motivators.
Immediately I thought of this prick from the Army ROTC back at USC. It was the first day of class in my second year. We were all introducing ourselves and when he mentioned he was in ROTC, I told him I thought of joining the Army. Before really talking to me and before getting to know me, he looked at me and told me to stop thinking about it because I wouldn’t make it.
What mother fucker?
Come again?
Anyways, I never really thought about him all that much after that. He wasn’t why I joined the Army or anything. Not until the commander gave that speech had I thought of that arrogant piece of trash. But it was simply the first of many times.
When I was struggling through the obstacle course, I thought of him.
When my hands were freezing as I tried to keep up in a road march, I thought of him.
When I was aiming my m-16, I thought of him.
I thought of him laughing at the thought of me quitting. It became important to me that I improved because I was not going to let him win.
The other day I was talking with one of the sergeant’s from the California National Guard unit who is here with us. He was talking about his brother the Colonel and I happened to mention that my battalion commander in basic training shared his name. Turned out to be his brother! He asked me what I remembered and all I remembered was the negative motivator speech and how it was one of the major influences on my military career. He then went right into it word for word. I was sitting there listening to it all over again and, amazingly enough, all the old emotions came rushing back. I thought of that prick back at USC and if he could only see me now. And what I would do or say if I ever saw him.
Then it occurred to me that the asshole is probably a captain by now and all I would do is salute him and call him sir.
Immediately I thought of this prick from the Army ROTC back at USC. It was the first day of class in my second year. We were all introducing ourselves and when he mentioned he was in ROTC, I told him I thought of joining the Army. Before really talking to me and before getting to know me, he looked at me and told me to stop thinking about it because I wouldn’t make it.
What mother fucker?
Come again?
Anyways, I never really thought about him all that much after that. He wasn’t why I joined the Army or anything. Not until the commander gave that speech had I thought of that arrogant piece of trash. But it was simply the first of many times.
When I was struggling through the obstacle course, I thought of him.
When my hands were freezing as I tried to keep up in a road march, I thought of him.
When I was aiming my m-16, I thought of him.
I thought of him laughing at the thought of me quitting. It became important to me that I improved because I was not going to let him win.
The other day I was talking with one of the sergeant’s from the California National Guard unit who is here with us. He was talking about his brother the Colonel and I happened to mention that my battalion commander in basic training shared his name. Turned out to be his brother! He asked me what I remembered and all I remembered was the negative motivator speech and how it was one of the major influences on my military career. He then went right into it word for word. I was sitting there listening to it all over again and, amazingly enough, all the old emotions came rushing back. I thought of that prick back at USC and if he could only see me now. And what I would do or say if I ever saw him.
Then it occurred to me that the asshole is probably a captain by now and all I would do is salute him and call him sir.
I helped 11 out of 15 people
A little context: A 32 year old teacher was arrested for allegedly sleeping with a 17 (now 18) year old student.
I would just like to defend myself and say that the moderator edited out about 4 paragraphs of brilliant rhetoric. I wasn’t defending her, I was just saying that all the people who felt she manipulated that guy were a little out of touch with reality. What was left, while the general theme of my comments, makes me look like a pervert. But hell, that is the media for you I guess.
Oh, and she looks way better in this picture.
Friday, June 09, 2006
Charlie's Updated Reading List...
I know it has been a while since I have posted this, but my book reading has dropped considerably. This is due to many things which include watching DVD's, reading magazines, chatting on the internet, sleeping, and less free time in general.
I did read a couple of really good books though, The Virgin Suicides and March.
March was interesting. It tells the story of a Union chaplain during the civil war; the catch being that the Union chaplain is the absent father of Little Women.
Anyways, as before, an asterisk is a new entry and Summerland really sucked.
Douglas Adams
-The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
-The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
-Life, the Universe and Everything
-So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
-Mostly Harmless
Mitch Albom
-Tuesdays With Morrie
L. Frank Baum
-The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
Erma Bombeck
-The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank
-Aunt Erma's Cope Book
T. Coraghessan Boyle
-The Road to Wellville
Geraldine Brooks
-Year of Wonders
*March
Dan Brown
*The Da Vinci Code
John Buchan
-The Thirty-Nine Steps
Caleb Carr
-The Alienist
-The Angel of Darkness
Willa Cather
-My Antonia
Michael Chabon
-Summerland
Agatha Christie
-After The Funeral
Joseph Conrad
-Heart of Darkness
-The Secret Sharer
William Pene du Bois
-The Twenty-One Balloons
Jeffrey Eugenides
*The Virgin Suicides
John Feinstein
-Season On The Brink
Ian Fleming
-The Spy Who Loved Me
Sue Grafton
*"A" is for Alibi
John Grisham
-Skipping Christmas
-The Brethren
Nathaniel Hawthorne
-The House of the Seven Gables
Robert A. Heinlein
-Starship Troopers
Stephen King
-Different Seasons
Elmore Leonard
-The Big Bounce
Alice McDermott
-Charming Billy
James Patterson
-The Thomas Berryman Number
-Along Came A Spider (Alex Cross #1)
-Kiss The Girls (Alex Cross #2)
-Jack and Jill (Alex Cross #3)
-Cat & Mouse (Alex Cross #4)
-Pop Goes The Weasel (Alex Cross #5)
-Roses Are Red (Alex Cross #6)
-Violets Are Blue (Alex Cross #7)
*Four Blind Mice (Alex Cross #8)
*The Big Bad Wolf (Alex Cross #9)
*London Bridges (Alex Cross #10)
Joe Queenan
-Confessions of a Cineplex Heckler: Celluloid Tirades and Escapades
J.K. Rowling
-Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Harry Potter #6)
H.G. Wells
-The Time Machine
Carlos Ruiz Zafon
-The Shadow of the Wind
I did read a couple of really good books though, The Virgin Suicides and March.
March was interesting. It tells the story of a Union chaplain during the civil war; the catch being that the Union chaplain is the absent father of Little Women.
Anyways, as before, an asterisk is a new entry and Summerland really sucked.
Douglas Adams
-The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
-The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
-Life, the Universe and Everything
-So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
-Mostly Harmless
Mitch Albom
-Tuesdays With Morrie
L. Frank Baum
-The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
Erma Bombeck
-The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank
-Aunt Erma's Cope Book
T. Coraghessan Boyle
-The Road to Wellville
Geraldine Brooks
-Year of Wonders
*March
Dan Brown
*The Da Vinci Code
John Buchan
-The Thirty-Nine Steps
Caleb Carr
-The Alienist
-The Angel of Darkness
Willa Cather
-My Antonia
Michael Chabon
-Summerland
Agatha Christie
-After The Funeral
Joseph Conrad
-Heart of Darkness
-The Secret Sharer
William Pene du Bois
-The Twenty-One Balloons
Jeffrey Eugenides
*The Virgin Suicides
John Feinstein
-Season On The Brink
Ian Fleming
-The Spy Who Loved Me
Sue Grafton
*"A" is for Alibi
John Grisham
-Skipping Christmas
-The Brethren
Nathaniel Hawthorne
-The House of the Seven Gables
Robert A. Heinlein
-Starship Troopers
Stephen King
-Different Seasons
Elmore Leonard
-The Big Bounce
Alice McDermott
-Charming Billy
James Patterson
-The Thomas Berryman Number
-Along Came A Spider (Alex Cross #1)
-Kiss The Girls (Alex Cross #2)
-Jack and Jill (Alex Cross #3)
-Cat & Mouse (Alex Cross #4)
-Pop Goes The Weasel (Alex Cross #5)
-Roses Are Red (Alex Cross #6)
-Violets Are Blue (Alex Cross #7)
*Four Blind Mice (Alex Cross #8)
*The Big Bad Wolf (Alex Cross #9)
*London Bridges (Alex Cross #10)
Joe Queenan
-Confessions of a Cineplex Heckler: Celluloid Tirades and Escapades
J.K. Rowling
-Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Harry Potter #6)
H.G. Wells
-The Time Machine
Carlos Ruiz Zafon
-The Shadow of the Wind
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Tit deserves tat
In their infinite wisdom, management has decided that 12 hour work days just aren’t long enough and we need to have a 13th hour added to the daily schedule. This 13th hour is spent in the classroom covering incredibly important topics like drinking lots of water and not having sex while in combat. I guess there are also more combat oriented ones like how to use certain crowd control weapons that just don’t apply to where I work. As you can probably tell I am very excited about this wonderful addition to my schedule.
Apparently they have added this 13th hour to our workday because everyone who is in contact with detainees needs this important training.
Hmmmmmm
Are we sure that EVERYONE who is in contact with detainees needs this important training?
The medics who treat the detainees don’t need it.
The food service team that delivers the detainees’ meals doesn’t require it.
The soldiers working at the visitation center do not find it necessary.
The soldiers who work at the detainee education center don’t have use for it.
The intelligence agents who interrogate the detainees seem to get by without.
Most importantly, the in-processing personnel from the last 3 freaking years found a way to accomplish the mission without it.
So I need a 13th hour added to my workday and all of them don’t?
I just wish that if they are going to say it’s mandatory for everyone working with detainees, then they actually MAKE it mandatory for everyone working with detainees. I mean seriously, if it is THAT important…
Oh and here is the kicker… I even have to go on my day off. So there won’t be any sleeping in because I will still have to be there on time.
Oh Wait!!
Now that I think about it, starting tomorrow, those of us who are Sergeants and above will not be allowed to have days off anymore anyways. So I guess I won’t have to worry about it after all. Well that is a relief.
What sucks about all of this is that I really want to just toss in the towel and skate by half-ass the rest of the way. I really want to do only what is asked of me and no more. It would be great if I could just be a shitbag-good-for-nothing for the next 4 months. But I can’t. That just isn’t who I am. And it sucks, the treatment we get deserves much less than I will end up giving.
Apparently they have added this 13th hour to our workday because everyone who is in contact with detainees needs this important training.
Hmmmmmm
Are we sure that EVERYONE who is in contact with detainees needs this important training?
The medics who treat the detainees don’t need it.
The food service team that delivers the detainees’ meals doesn’t require it.
The soldiers working at the visitation center do not find it necessary.
The soldiers who work at the detainee education center don’t have use for it.
The intelligence agents who interrogate the detainees seem to get by without.
Most importantly, the in-processing personnel from the last 3 freaking years found a way to accomplish the mission without it.
So I need a 13th hour added to my workday and all of them don’t?
I just wish that if they are going to say it’s mandatory for everyone working with detainees, then they actually MAKE it mandatory for everyone working with detainees. I mean seriously, if it is THAT important…
Oh and here is the kicker… I even have to go on my day off. So there won’t be any sleeping in because I will still have to be there on time.
Oh Wait!!
Now that I think about it, starting tomorrow, those of us who are Sergeants and above will not be allowed to have days off anymore anyways. So I guess I won’t have to worry about it after all. Well that is a relief.
What sucks about all of this is that I really want to just toss in the towel and skate by half-ass the rest of the way. I really want to do only what is asked of me and no more. It would be great if I could just be a shitbag-good-for-nothing for the next 4 months. But I can’t. That just isn’t who I am. And it sucks, the treatment we get deserves much less than I will end up giving.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
It's Been A Long TIme
I got back to Abu a little over a week ago. Leave was amazing; it was too short in fact. I will put up a travel log later this week. I am sorry for the lack of communication. I'll try to shoot out some stuff now...
-I finally read/listened to the Da Vinci Code while on leave. It was an OK book. I didn't think it was really all that great. I can think of at least 25 books off the top of my head that are better. I think that its subject matter is more the reason for its sales than its writing. The book presents a lot of unprovable arguments as facts. I don't know how I feel about all of it. Hell, I could write 50 blogs on that. But in regards to the main themes and historical conflicts in the book, think about this:
History books and bibles are written by the winners.
-It hit 120 freaking degrees today!!!!!
You know what?
It actually wasn't that bad. Granted I wasn't pacing around in it all day like the poor guys out at the camps. But I know I could go running or play basketball in this weather. Now, come July when it is 140 degrees outside? THat is most likely a completely different story.
-The Sharks choked against the Oilers. They were up 2-0 and had a clear path to the freaking Stanley Cup and they choked. That loss hurt man. Hopefully next year, after a full season of Thornton and Carle and maybe a free agent or two, they will finally get that freaking cup in California.
-As a Giants fan there are two things that I crave in my baseball. I want to see the GIants win and Barry Bonds hit home runs. Both don't even have to happen at th esame time. I'll settle for one or the other. Now when neither happens, like last year, CHarlie is an unhappy Giants fan. This year Bonds isn't hitting a lot of home runs, but the team is competitive. So I am alright with that. I can't wait for Alou to come back too. No one really talks about them outside of Barry, but they could win this division. Quick side note... The National League West is the only division in sports where every team has a winning record. Just thought I would let you all know.
-There is someone here who we are all pretty sure doesn't have a job. Seriously. I have no idea what his title is. He doesn't have an office. I am not sure if he has work hours. All he does is walk around from here to there and play solitaire on our computers. You guys probably think I am exagerating, but I promise you I am not. We have spent many a morning trying to figure out just what the hell this sergeant does. I told him he could hide out in his room for a month and no one would know. Everyone would assume he is just walking around to a different part of the camp "working." I wish I had his life. Don't get me wrong, 12 hours indoors in front of a computer ain't bad. However, I could be essentially collecting unemployment benefits like the other guy.
-The day I got back from leave my air conditioner broke. Well it didn't actually break, but it would only run for less than an hour before I would have to flip the breaker. No big deal though right, because there is a breaker in my room.
Jokes on you Charlie!!!
That breaker doesn't do shit. You have to downstairs, outside, and around the building. Oh, and it's over a 100 every day now.
Lovely.
But sure enough, they came and fixed it. Now I can crank my AC and shiver in my room. It is wonderful. But I had quite a few sweaty nights while wiating for it to get fixed though. And all they did was clean it a bit and change the breaker.
-We leave in roughly a month whether our barracks are ready or not. Some general or civilian in an air conditioned office with a fishtank and a mini bar has decided that even if the soldiers have to sleep in tents on the side of the road, we will be out of Abu Ghraib on schedule.
Thanks Sir.
Really appreciate you looking out for us and all.
What Sir?
You say that back in Nam you would have been happy for the sleep, let alone the tent to do it in?
Well I don't know about you Sir, but I don't trust any sort of Vietnam era recollections from Americans. True historical accounts are written by the winners.
-I finally read/listened to the Da Vinci Code while on leave. It was an OK book. I didn't think it was really all that great. I can think of at least 25 books off the top of my head that are better. I think that its subject matter is more the reason for its sales than its writing. The book presents a lot of unprovable arguments as facts. I don't know how I feel about all of it. Hell, I could write 50 blogs on that. But in regards to the main themes and historical conflicts in the book, think about this:
History books and bibles are written by the winners.
-It hit 120 freaking degrees today!!!!!
You know what?
It actually wasn't that bad. Granted I wasn't pacing around in it all day like the poor guys out at the camps. But I know I could go running or play basketball in this weather. Now, come July when it is 140 degrees outside? THat is most likely a completely different story.
-The Sharks choked against the Oilers. They were up 2-0 and had a clear path to the freaking Stanley Cup and they choked. That loss hurt man. Hopefully next year, after a full season of Thornton and Carle and maybe a free agent or two, they will finally get that freaking cup in California.
-As a Giants fan there are two things that I crave in my baseball. I want to see the GIants win and Barry Bonds hit home runs. Both don't even have to happen at th esame time. I'll settle for one or the other. Now when neither happens, like last year, CHarlie is an unhappy Giants fan. This year Bonds isn't hitting a lot of home runs, but the team is competitive. So I am alright with that. I can't wait for Alou to come back too. No one really talks about them outside of Barry, but they could win this division. Quick side note... The National League West is the only division in sports where every team has a winning record. Just thought I would let you all know.
-There is someone here who we are all pretty sure doesn't have a job. Seriously. I have no idea what his title is. He doesn't have an office. I am not sure if he has work hours. All he does is walk around from here to there and play solitaire on our computers. You guys probably think I am exagerating, but I promise you I am not. We have spent many a morning trying to figure out just what the hell this sergeant does. I told him he could hide out in his room for a month and no one would know. Everyone would assume he is just walking around to a different part of the camp "working." I wish I had his life. Don't get me wrong, 12 hours indoors in front of a computer ain't bad. However, I could be essentially collecting unemployment benefits like the other guy.
-The day I got back from leave my air conditioner broke. Well it didn't actually break, but it would only run for less than an hour before I would have to flip the breaker. No big deal though right, because there is a breaker in my room.
Jokes on you Charlie!!!
That breaker doesn't do shit. You have to downstairs, outside, and around the building. Oh, and it's over a 100 every day now.
Lovely.
But sure enough, they came and fixed it. Now I can crank my AC and shiver in my room. It is wonderful. But I had quite a few sweaty nights while wiating for it to get fixed though. And all they did was clean it a bit and change the breaker.
-We leave in roughly a month whether our barracks are ready or not. Some general or civilian in an air conditioned office with a fishtank and a mini bar has decided that even if the soldiers have to sleep in tents on the side of the road, we will be out of Abu Ghraib on schedule.
Thanks Sir.
Really appreciate you looking out for us and all.
What Sir?
You say that back in Nam you would have been happy for the sleep, let alone the tent to do it in?
Well I don't know about you Sir, but I don't trust any sort of Vietnam era recollections from Americans. True historical accounts are written by the winners.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Bailey's and free wireless internet in the land of my ancestors...
I am currently sitting in the Shannon, Ireland International Airport terminal.They are serving Bailey's about 25 ft from me. I can't drink any though because the idiots who decided to place themselves in charge of our trip home are actually enforcing the no alcohol policy. What a joke. We are all adults, as long as no one gets drunk we should be able to buy a drink. It is not like there is a chain of command anywhere to drop the hammer. What yutzes.
They have free wireless internet though, so that is cool.
And all the British equivolents of Maxim, Stuff, etc. show boobies and stuff.
WooHoo!!!
I'll be home in time for rush hour traffic wednesday evening.
Holla back...
They have free wireless internet though, so that is cool.
And all the British equivolents of Maxim, Stuff, etc. show boobies and stuff.
WooHoo!!!
I'll be home in time for rush hour traffic wednesday evening.
Holla back...
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Yeah Sharks!!!!
Thanks to the Oilers and Avalanche, if the Ducks beat the Flames in game 7, the Sharks will have home ice advantage for the rest of the Western Conferance bracket. Unbelievable.
The Niners had a solid draft; though I wish they drafted Darnell Bing instead of Michael Robinson.
Vernon Davis is going to be a star.
I predict now that the NC State defensive end that the Niners drafted will have a bigger year than the NC State defensive end who was the #1 overall pick. Sorry Houston, you should have drafted Reggie Bush.
Lendale White will end up being the best running back in this draft.
Kings in 6 baby.
The Niners had a solid draft; though I wish they drafted Darnell Bing instead of Michael Robinson.
Vernon Davis is going to be a star.
I predict now that the NC State defensive end that the Niners drafted will have a bigger year than the NC State defensive end who was the #1 overall pick. Sorry Houston, you should have drafted Reggie Bush.
Lendale White will end up being the best running back in this draft.
Kings in 6 baby.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Hodge and Podge (if you click on the links they’ll work)
So I started writing this ridiculously long and detailed account of my current bout with the flu. Unfortunately I was so busy at work yesterday, I didn’t get to finish. The world is a lesser place because of it too.
But on the bright side, I am feeling much better (which is the opposite of how I was feeling two days ago: hating every waking moment).
I am going to be on a plane home in a week. As it keeps getting closer I keep losing more and more interest in this place. It is funny, less than two weeks ago I had no idea when my leave dates were. I might as well have been a 4th grader going to school everyday. This all changed drastically when I saw my name up on the big calendar.
The world I know went from bliss to bleh.
All of a sudden every waking moment, as well as half the unwaking ones, was spent thinking about how great it is to get back home. I started making little lists of all the restaurants and bars I wanted to hit up, little excursions to go on, and normal things from my old routine that I would do just for the hell of it. I can’t wait though. And now instead of thinking about all the great stuff ahead of me, all I can see is all this crap I am swimming in now.
I can’t imagine what the last day of leave is going to do to me. I’ll probably try to run off to Canada or something. Be a fugitive and stuff. Do you think they would send Jennifer Lopez or Tommy Lee Jones?
While I am on the subject, if I were a fugitive I would probably run off to France and “hide out” with Roman Polanski. Can you run from the law for any crime in France? Do they limit it to just the crimes committed at Jack Nicholson’s house? Or is it legal to rape children in France? Do the French at least try to catch French criminals?
Wouldn’t it be hysterical (and before you start writing your damnation of my sense of humor, by hysterical I mean 450 tons of irony) if some American celebrity, we’ll use William Shatner, raped a kid in France and fled to the states? France is screaming for justice, and George Bush replies from his ranch,
“I don’t know about your so called evidence and witness testimony, but you’re not makin’ freedom fries out of Captain Kirk!”
Now I used to be under the very false impression that Polanski had simply been in a consensual relationship with a near adult, and that they got married after she became of age. Then I realized I was confusing reality with Samuel L. Jackson movies.
Seriously though, isn’t an American studio aiding and abetting a fugitive by financing his movies?
Couldn't the US have tried a litle harder to snatch this guy back and let the boys in San Quentin repay the favor?
Sleep sound kids. Your heroes, the San Francisco Giants, beat those idiot Mets today and are in first place.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Kids Write The Darndest Things...
I got a package in the mail yesterday. It had some Easter tidings from kids at my mom’s school. Oh my goodness some of those cards were so freaking awesome!!
This would be a top 5 list…
5. “Dear Charlie, How are you doing in the war? Hope you come back alive.”
This one stood out because it was the only one written specifically to me. All the others were written to everybody in the unit in general. So for ego massaging purposes, this one makes the Top 5.
4. “I feel bad for the people who don’t get letters.”
So sweet. I feel bad too.
3. This one had all of the normal pleasantries, but with a little extra touch: guns firing at each other. The only card that had any sort of weapons on it. I don’t know how it slipped through the cracks. There were other pictures of tanks and helicopters, but this was the only one with deadly force actually being applied. Finally, a child who gets it.
2. “Write your wife or girlfriend and kids and say I miss you or love you.”
I think this one was a plant. Mom’s subtle way of letting me know something. Terrible that she exploits a child though.
1. “Have you killed any people that are bad?”
Whoooooooooooooooaaaaaaa!!
This one was the run away winner.
Not even close.
Everyone loved this one.
I have to admit that it would be great if I could tell this little Patton that I was running around like Rambo. Alas, I have not gotten to kill any of the bad people.
It is hard when you are essentially a desk jockey. Hell I am not even allowed to carry my weapons when around the detainees.
This would be a top 5 list…
5. “Dear Charlie, How are you doing in the war? Hope you come back alive.”
This one stood out because it was the only one written specifically to me. All the others were written to everybody in the unit in general. So for ego massaging purposes, this one makes the Top 5.
4. “I feel bad for the people who don’t get letters.”
So sweet. I feel bad too.
3. This one had all of the normal pleasantries, but with a little extra touch: guns firing at each other. The only card that had any sort of weapons on it. I don’t know how it slipped through the cracks. There were other pictures of tanks and helicopters, but this was the only one with deadly force actually being applied. Finally, a child who gets it.
2. “Write your wife or girlfriend and kids and say I miss you or love you.”
I think this one was a plant. Mom’s subtle way of letting me know something. Terrible that she exploits a child though.
1. “Have you killed any people that are bad?”
Whoooooooooooooooaaaaaaa!!
This one was the run away winner.
Not even close.
Everyone loved this one.
I have to admit that it would be great if I could tell this little Patton that I was running around like Rambo. Alas, I have not gotten to kill any of the bad people.
It is hard when you are essentially a desk jockey. Hell I am not even allowed to carry my weapons when around the detainees.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Just something I was thinking about at work today...
At what point will "American" become its own nationality/race?
Interactive Fun (The link works now; I promise)
Click on the link and read the article. Then please leave a comment which will explain to me how the in the blue hell this is newsworthy. Seems to me that the first three paragraphs were written only to provide an excuse to write the fourth.
Detainee Dies At Abu Ghraib
Detainee Dies At Abu Ghraib
Time Flies When It Has No Choice...
It’s been a while. Though, circumstances led to my absence; the internet in my room has down (again!!!) for over a week now; I have been filling in for the shift leader over a week now, and so I don’t get all the idle time at work I once did; there was an ordered blackout of all communication from the base for two days.
I’m back now though, that counts right?
Anyways, I have discovered the key to being happy here. It involves going to work, and then going right to bed. I swear, my mood has improved exponentially since I stopped trying to go to the gym and started sleeping 8-10 hours a day. It is really great. I go back to my room after work and read a book or magazine, or maybe watch a movie in bed. Sure I won’t look like your stereotypically chiseled veteran when I get home, but I will be a jolly old fat man, like Santa…
So, any of you that have talked to me know that I am looking at becoming a homeowner when I return from abroad. Quick side note, I was watching the amazingly cool HBO show Rome last week. In it, Julius Caesar gives al of his returning vets their own plots of land. Sure the land was out in the middle of nowhere, but it got me thinking. Dubya should give all of us returning vets our own plots of land in like Oklahoma or Texas or something. I have no idea what I would do with a plot of land out in the middle of nowhere, but it is an interesting idea. Or maybe they could give out government repossessed homes for those of us that like the city.
Back to reality, or at least my latest version. Like I said, I want to take all this money I will have saved when I return and buy a house. A friend of the family who is a realtor has been sending all the different listings so I can see what is out there. All I see though, is that any area of Sacramento that I would actually like to live in is out of my price range; and it isn’t even close. California is just too damned expensive. I am not the kind of person who would want to buy a home somewhere I would hate living just for the sake of owning a home. I don’t like the suburbs. I don’t want to live somewhere that requires driving everywhere. I want to live in the downtown area. I want to be near all the action. I am thinking about moving to Cincinnati. I really liked my visit there over the summer and I think it would be a good place for me. It reminded me a lot of Sacramento, but with snow and a horrible baseball team. It had an awesome river area and a good downtown. A home would also cost half as much as in Sacramento. It has me seriously thinking about relocating…
It’s been so long since I have had real salsa that I enjoy Pace Picante sauce…
I’m back now though, that counts right?
Anyways, I have discovered the key to being happy here. It involves going to work, and then going right to bed. I swear, my mood has improved exponentially since I stopped trying to go to the gym and started sleeping 8-10 hours a day. It is really great. I go back to my room after work and read a book or magazine, or maybe watch a movie in bed. Sure I won’t look like your stereotypically chiseled veteran when I get home, but I will be a jolly old fat man, like Santa…
So, any of you that have talked to me know that I am looking at becoming a homeowner when I return from abroad. Quick side note, I was watching the amazingly cool HBO show Rome last week. In it, Julius Caesar gives al of his returning vets their own plots of land. Sure the land was out in the middle of nowhere, but it got me thinking. Dubya should give all of us returning vets our own plots of land in like Oklahoma or Texas or something. I have no idea what I would do with a plot of land out in the middle of nowhere, but it is an interesting idea. Or maybe they could give out government repossessed homes for those of us that like the city.
Back to reality, or at least my latest version. Like I said, I want to take all this money I will have saved when I return and buy a house. A friend of the family who is a realtor has been sending all the different listings so I can see what is out there. All I see though, is that any area of Sacramento that I would actually like to live in is out of my price range; and it isn’t even close. California is just too damned expensive. I am not the kind of person who would want to buy a home somewhere I would hate living just for the sake of owning a home. I don’t like the suburbs. I don’t want to live somewhere that requires driving everywhere. I want to live in the downtown area. I want to be near all the action. I am thinking about moving to Cincinnati. I really liked my visit there over the summer and I think it would be a good place for me. It reminded me a lot of Sacramento, but with snow and a horrible baseball team. It had an awesome river area and a good downtown. A home would also cost half as much as in Sacramento. It has me seriously thinking about relocating…
It’s been so long since I have had real salsa that I enjoy Pace Picante sauce…
Sunday, April 02, 2006
The Day The Music Died
The Epic Music Wars ended before there was really a chance for bloodshed.
"Management" informed us that we were no longer allowed to have music playing at anytime.
Huh?
Dude that sucks.
Vengeance was never mine.
The bigger picture though, is that now we are stuck in a windowless room for 12 hours without even the small luxury of a soundtrack.
Un-freaking-fair!!!
The detainees have radios and TV's in the camps. Yet I can't listen to music at work.
Should I be surprised though? I think in every job I have had, silly rules have been made by people who really aren't there enough to be making them.
It was the guy with the assigned parking spot at the mall who said employees have to take the shuttle bus from the offsite parking.
It was the district manager who had never actually worked in a stock room, who made us where shirt and tie, yet wouldn't reimburse us if they were damaged.
It is someone working an 8 hour shift in an office who tells the people working 12 hours outside that they can't send people home when they are not needed.
It is someone who doesn't even work in the building and comes in only a couple times a week for a few minutes at a time, who tells a grouped of people stuck in a room for 12 hours a day that they can't listen to any music.
All I can say is that happy soldiers are motivated soldiers. This is the sort of thing that causes undue stress.
Why piss everybody off?
Why punish us for nothing?
Who did the music hurt?
Why can't they just let us run our shift?
Why can't the Giants or the Kings win a championship?
Seriously. It is starting to get frustrating watching my teams fail to put it all together. I work with a lot of Bay Area folks so I have others who feel my pain. I remember every let down like it was yesterday...
In 1989 the Earthquake let the A's reset their rotation and Stewart and Moore kicked the Giants' tails twice.
In 1993, the combination of the fucking Padres giving Fred Mcgriff to the Braves for nothing and Solomon Torres getting shelled on the last day of the season kept a 103 win team out of the playoffs.
In the late 90's they kept losing in the first round of the playoffs to teams they had better records than; losses to the Marlins and Mets are prime examples of this.
Then there was 2001. Oh the humanity!! The Giants are on the verge of a historic World Series Title. Bonds is hitting home runs. JT Snow grabs the baby bat boy as he crosses home plate. Less than 9 outs from the title. Then Dusty out thinks himself. Brings in a reliever who gets absolutely shelled. Giants lose game 6. Everyone in America knew they didn't have a chance in Game 7. That was devastating man. So close.
Don't even get me started on the Kings. The might bring me to tears.
Speaking of tears. I am in a dead silent room. All I can hear is the whirr of the fan, the buzz of the lights, and the sound of the detainees in the other room watching the Incredibles.
"Management" informed us that we were no longer allowed to have music playing at anytime.
Huh?
Dude that sucks.
Vengeance was never mine.
The bigger picture though, is that now we are stuck in a windowless room for 12 hours without even the small luxury of a soundtrack.
Un-freaking-fair!!!
The detainees have radios and TV's in the camps. Yet I can't listen to music at work.
Should I be surprised though? I think in every job I have had, silly rules have been made by people who really aren't there enough to be making them.
It was the guy with the assigned parking spot at the mall who said employees have to take the shuttle bus from the offsite parking.
It was the district manager who had never actually worked in a stock room, who made us where shirt and tie, yet wouldn't reimburse us if they were damaged.
It is someone working an 8 hour shift in an office who tells the people working 12 hours outside that they can't send people home when they are not needed.
It is someone who doesn't even work in the building and comes in only a couple times a week for a few minutes at a time, who tells a grouped of people stuck in a room for 12 hours a day that they can't listen to any music.
All I can say is that happy soldiers are motivated soldiers. This is the sort of thing that causes undue stress.
Why piss everybody off?
Why punish us for nothing?
Who did the music hurt?
Why can't they just let us run our shift?
Why can't the Giants or the Kings win a championship?
Seriously. It is starting to get frustrating watching my teams fail to put it all together. I work with a lot of Bay Area folks so I have others who feel my pain. I remember every let down like it was yesterday...
In 1989 the Earthquake let the A's reset their rotation and Stewart and Moore kicked the Giants' tails twice.
In 1993, the combination of the fucking Padres giving Fred Mcgriff to the Braves for nothing and Solomon Torres getting shelled on the last day of the season kept a 103 win team out of the playoffs.
In the late 90's they kept losing in the first round of the playoffs to teams they had better records than; losses to the Marlins and Mets are prime examples of this.
Then there was 2001. Oh the humanity!! The Giants are on the verge of a historic World Series Title. Bonds is hitting home runs. JT Snow grabs the baby bat boy as he crosses home plate. Less than 9 outs from the title. Then Dusty out thinks himself. Brings in a reliever who gets absolutely shelled. Giants lose game 6. Everyone in America knew they didn't have a chance in Game 7. That was devastating man. So close.
Don't even get me started on the Kings. The might bring me to tears.
Speaking of tears. I am in a dead silent room. All I can hear is the whirr of the fan, the buzz of the lights, and the sound of the detainees in the other room watching the Incredibles.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Just a few questions...
Can someone please explain to me how a person can support invading a country but not paying the taxes necessary to pay for it?
Would anyone care to elaborate on the concept of a person having the audacity to support sending troops 11,000 miles from home as long as their loved ones aren’t among them?
What if American’s had to have a national vote to go to war?
Everyone who votes “Yay” is entered into a draft to randomly select those who would have to go and fight.
Everyone who votes “Yay” has their taxes increased in order to pay for both the battle and the reconstruction.
How would it work if civilian contractors were eliminated from the equation and all jobs were done by the military? Or if all profits gained at the expense of a conflict went to the families of the soldiers who died?
Would the government let KBR ring up two bowls of cereal to the Army for $30 if all the profits went to a fallen soldier’s family in Oklahoma instead of to corporate America?
Would anyone care to elaborate on the concept of a person having the audacity to support sending troops 11,000 miles from home as long as their loved ones aren’t among them?
What if American’s had to have a national vote to go to war?
Everyone who votes “Yay” is entered into a draft to randomly select those who would have to go and fight.
Everyone who votes “Yay” has their taxes increased in order to pay for both the battle and the reconstruction.
How would it work if civilian contractors were eliminated from the equation and all jobs were done by the military? Or if all profits gained at the expense of a conflict went to the families of the soldiers who died?
Would the government let KBR ring up two bowls of cereal to the Army for $30 if all the profits went to a fallen soldier’s family in Oklahoma instead of to corporate America?
Delaration of War...
There was a declaration of war made the other day at Abu Ghraib. Something so egregious and vile I cannot properly describe it. I shall try though…
The other shift deleted our music from the computer.
Oh the humanity!!!
The scoundrels!!!
We are stuck in this room for 12 hours at a time. Oftentimes the only thing to break the monotony, to keep us sane, to remind us of our civilian lives, was arguing over the radio. How else am I to remember there is a world out there of bad music?, a world of long drives with my friends?, a world of being stuck in traffic with my mom? Arguing over the radio is a basic element in the very foundation of our culture. Now what do we have to do for 12 hours?, work in silence? Forget that noise.
They deleted pretty much all 48 hours worth of music I put on there. All they left was this random crap that gets very old after the first hour. Gone is the jazz, and the rock. All that is left is crunk-pac and folk music.
This is war!!!!
There are two things you don’t mess with:
1) A man’s French fries
2) A man’s radio.
I don’t get mad, I get even.
Beware day shift…beware.
The other shift deleted our music from the computer.
Oh the humanity!!!
The scoundrels!!!
We are stuck in this room for 12 hours at a time. Oftentimes the only thing to break the monotony, to keep us sane, to remind us of our civilian lives, was arguing over the radio. How else am I to remember there is a world out there of bad music?, a world of long drives with my friends?, a world of being stuck in traffic with my mom? Arguing over the radio is a basic element in the very foundation of our culture. Now what do we have to do for 12 hours?, work in silence? Forget that noise.
They deleted pretty much all 48 hours worth of music I put on there. All they left was this random crap that gets very old after the first hour. Gone is the jazz, and the rock. All that is left is crunk-pac and folk music.
This is war!!!!
There are two things you don’t mess with:
1) A man’s French fries
2) A man’s radio.
I don’t get mad, I get even.
Beware day shift…beware.
Friday, March 24, 2006
mmmmmmmmm... cooooooooooookies
I just got some girl scout cookies. I was very dissappointed to find that they were called caramel delights instead of samoas.
This led me to write this long soap box speech questioning what exactly I was over here in Iraq for. What freedoms do we have when someone would get all butthurt and complain about the name of a cookie?
Then I found out that there are two different companies making girl scout cookies, one calls them samoas and one doesn't.
Fair enough, soap box speech deleted.
The girl scouts really need to get their act together and fix this two name thing.
I don't think I could take such a scare again.
This led me to write this long soap box speech questioning what exactly I was over here in Iraq for. What freedoms do we have when someone would get all butthurt and complain about the name of a cookie?
Then I found out that there are two different companies making girl scout cookies, one calls them samoas and one doesn't.
Fair enough, soap box speech deleted.
The girl scouts really need to get their act together and fix this two name thing.
I don't think I could take such a scare again.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Helpless...
Insomnia is a mother fucker when you have to work the next day. I go to bed at 1430 or so everyday so I can be up in time to go to the gym before work. The last couple days I can’t sleep though; so I scratch the gym and set my alarm for later.
I still need my sleep right?
Well someone out there disagrees because it is now 1800 and I am still awake. So I decide I will read myself to sleep. Why waste this time lying in bed?
Ninety pages of my latest Alex Cross novel later, I am still wide awake.
Argh.
What the fuck?
This is the second night in a row that has gone down like this. I lie in bed watching my clock move closer to wake up time. My sleep time is decreasing. This is time I will never get back. It is such a helpless feeling. I can’t call in sick. I can’t just be late. I have to be on time and just drag ass all day.
I hate this.
I hate wathing the time go by and being helpless to stop it.
I try to sleep again.
I just lay there again.
Why does my body reject this sleeping schedule? It has been almost a month. Hell, I am on a sleeping schedule closer to what it was in California. It should be remembering. This should be easier for me, not harder.
I pull out my computer and surf the net. I decide that nothing could put me to sleep faster than the Sacramento Bee and LA Times.
Wrong again Chuck. Not that they were especially exciting. I just can’t freaking fall asleep.
This sucks.
The last time I look at my clock it is after 2100. I have to be up at 0015 in order to be able to take a shower and get to work on time.
Three hours of sleep a night is not good. It is especially not good when your next twelve hours will be spent sitting down in front of a computer.
Like I said, insomnia is a mother fucker when you have to work the next day.
I still need my sleep right?
Well someone out there disagrees because it is now 1800 and I am still awake. So I decide I will read myself to sleep. Why waste this time lying in bed?
Ninety pages of my latest Alex Cross novel later, I am still wide awake.
Argh.
What the fuck?
This is the second night in a row that has gone down like this. I lie in bed watching my clock move closer to wake up time. My sleep time is decreasing. This is time I will never get back. It is such a helpless feeling. I can’t call in sick. I can’t just be late. I have to be on time and just drag ass all day.
I hate this.
I hate wathing the time go by and being helpless to stop it.
I try to sleep again.
I just lay there again.
Why does my body reject this sleeping schedule? It has been almost a month. Hell, I am on a sleeping schedule closer to what it was in California. It should be remembering. This should be easier for me, not harder.
I pull out my computer and surf the net. I decide that nothing could put me to sleep faster than the Sacramento Bee and LA Times.
Wrong again Chuck. Not that they were especially exciting. I just can’t freaking fall asleep.
This sucks.
The last time I look at my clock it is after 2100. I have to be up at 0015 in order to be able to take a shower and get to work on time.
Three hours of sleep a night is not good. It is especially not good when your next twelve hours will be spent sitting down in front of a computer.
Like I said, insomnia is a mother fucker when you have to work the next day.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Charlie's Updated Deployment Reading List
Nothing new really, this month I was basically continuing to whip though my Alex Cross novels. Three more to go before I can start reading more "high brow" literature. I would love to find someone out there who has read "The Big Bounce." I would really like to get another opinion on it.
Top Books on this list:
-Shadow of The Wind
-Charming Billy
-Tuesdays With Morrie
Worst Books on this list:
-Summerland
-The House of The Seven Gables
-The Road To Wellville
* = new entry
Douglas Adams
-The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
-The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
-Life, the Universe and Everything
-So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
-Mostly Harmless
Mitch Albom
-Tuesdays With Morrie
L. Frank Baum
*The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
Erma Bombeck
-The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank
-Aunt Erma's Cope Book
T. Coraghessan Boyle
-The Road to Wellville
Geraldine Brooks
-Year of Wonders
John Buchan
*The Thirty-Nine Steps
Caleb Carr
-The Alienist
-The Angel of Darkness
Willa Cather
-My Antonia
Michael Chabon
-Summerland
Agatha Christie
-After The Funeral
Joseph Conrad
-Heart of Darkness
-The Secret Sharer
William Pene du Bois
*The Twenty-One Balloons
John Feinstein
-Season On The Brink
Ian Fleming
-The Spy Who Loved Me
John Grisham
-Skipping Christmas
-The Brethren
Nathaniel Hawthorne
*The House of the Seven Gables
Robert A. Heinlein
-Starship Troopers
Stephen King
-Different Seasons
Elmore Leonard
-The Big Bounce
Alice McDermott
-Charming Billy
James Patterson
-The Thomas Berryman Number
-Along Came A Spider (Alex Cross #1)
-Kiss The Girls (Alex Cross #2)
*Jack and Jill (Alex Cross #3)
*Cat & Mouse (Alex Cross #4)
*Pop Goes The Weasel (Alex Cross #5)
*Roses Are Red (Alex Cross #6)
*Violets Are Blue (Alex Cross #7)
Joe Queenan
-Confessions of a Cineplex Heckler: Celluloid Tirades and Escapades
J.K. Rowling
-Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Harry Potter #6)
H.G. Wells
-The Time Machine
Carlos Ruiz Zafon
-The Shadow of the Wind
Top Books on this list:
-Shadow of The Wind
-Charming Billy
-Tuesdays With Morrie
Worst Books on this list:
-Summerland
-The House of The Seven Gables
-The Road To Wellville
* = new entry
Douglas Adams
-The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
-The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
-Life, the Universe and Everything
-So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
-Mostly Harmless
Mitch Albom
-Tuesdays With Morrie
L. Frank Baum
*The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
Erma Bombeck
-The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank
-Aunt Erma's Cope Book
T. Coraghessan Boyle
-The Road to Wellville
Geraldine Brooks
-Year of Wonders
John Buchan
*The Thirty-Nine Steps
Caleb Carr
-The Alienist
-The Angel of Darkness
Willa Cather
-My Antonia
Michael Chabon
-Summerland
Agatha Christie
-After The Funeral
Joseph Conrad
-Heart of Darkness
-The Secret Sharer
William Pene du Bois
*The Twenty-One Balloons
John Feinstein
-Season On The Brink
Ian Fleming
-The Spy Who Loved Me
John Grisham
-Skipping Christmas
-The Brethren
Nathaniel Hawthorne
*The House of the Seven Gables
Robert A. Heinlein
-Starship Troopers
Stephen King
-Different Seasons
Elmore Leonard
-The Big Bounce
Alice McDermott
-Charming Billy
James Patterson
-The Thomas Berryman Number
-Along Came A Spider (Alex Cross #1)
-Kiss The Girls (Alex Cross #2)
*Jack and Jill (Alex Cross #3)
*Cat & Mouse (Alex Cross #4)
*Pop Goes The Weasel (Alex Cross #5)
*Roses Are Red (Alex Cross #6)
*Violets Are Blue (Alex Cross #7)
Joe Queenan
-Confessions of a Cineplex Heckler: Celluloid Tirades and Escapades
J.K. Rowling
-Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Harry Potter #6)
H.G. Wells
-The Time Machine
Carlos Ruiz Zafon
-The Shadow of the Wind
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Happy St. Patrick's Day
Leave it to the Catholics to have a holiday where all you do is drink. Seriously, St. Patrick's day isn't a time for family like Easter, Thanksgiving, or Christmas; it isn't a big bbq event like 4th of July, Labor Day, or Memorial Day; there are no romantic attachments like on Valentine's Day. On St. Patrick's day you drink beer. There may be a parade or two, but they sell beer there. So when you are in a place like Iraq, where there is no beer, St. Patrick's Day means nothing. They didn't even have corned beef in the chow hall.
I don't know.
This seems to have lost focus.
I think the point is that I miss home so much that I am longing to celebrate a meaningless holiday.
Though I will admit that St. Patrick's Day turned out to be my favorite it day in monthes.
Why?
Well the NCAA basketball tourny started and I was able to watch all of the games. The good people at CBS made this soldier incredibly happy by broadcasting the games over the internet for free. And the Army didn't block it either!!! They block streaming video from CNN.com but not the basketball games.
I would like to think that this is because they knew I would be watching, but I doubt it. Some general probably wanted to watch and couldn't get the firewall turned off for just his computer.
So we all win.
Yay.
I am a happy soldier.
I don't know.
This seems to have lost focus.
I think the point is that I miss home so much that I am longing to celebrate a meaningless holiday.
Though I will admit that St. Patrick's Day turned out to be my favorite it day in monthes.
Why?
Well the NCAA basketball tourny started and I was able to watch all of the games. The good people at CBS made this soldier incredibly happy by broadcasting the games over the internet for free. And the Army didn't block it either!!! They block streaming video from CNN.com but not the basketball games.
I would like to think that this is because they knew I would be watching, but I doubt it. Some general probably wanted to watch and couldn't get the firewall turned off for just his computer.
So we all win.
Yay.
I am a happy soldier.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Hi?
I recently acquired the email address of one of my old high school teachers; actually the word “recently” is a stretch because I actually got the email about a year ago but forgot I had it. Oops!! Anywhoo, I have no idea how to write an email to the man. This guy was one of the more influential people in my life and even though I haven’t seen him in 7 years, for some reason I don’t want to come off the wrong way. For some reason I am worried that I will somehow disappoint him. What does that say about me though? Deep down am I still the same insecure teenager I was 10 years ago?
Sometimes I remember the conflicting looks I received when I got my first job. The excitement that I was finally contributing followed by the disappointment that I was wasting my potential working at McDonald’s. I might as well have told ‘em that I was going to be killing puppies for a living. It’s not like I sit around thinking about these things, but they definitely never go away.
It is not like I feel I have anything to be embarrassed about. I may have flamed out of USC the first time around, but seriously, I wasn’t ready for it emotionally or academically. If I owe anyone an apology for all of that it is my mom, and only because at that point it was still her money being spent. I can’t regret the flame out though. Had I gone straight through school, I never would have discovered how much I enjoyed and excelled at working with children, many of my friends would still be strangers, and I definitely wouldn’t be wearing an Army uniform right now.
Maybe it is more an apprehension about what right way to reconnect with someone I haven’t seen in nearly a decade. I have recently “run into” all these people from high school with things like MySpace and Facebook. It is one of those things where I am excited that all these people are alive and well, but damn, I have no freaking idea what to say to them. I guess a simple “Hi” might work. But that seems like the sort of thing that the insecure teenager would have said 10 years ago.
Sometimes I remember the conflicting looks I received when I got my first job. The excitement that I was finally contributing followed by the disappointment that I was wasting my potential working at McDonald’s. I might as well have told ‘em that I was going to be killing puppies for a living. It’s not like I sit around thinking about these things, but they definitely never go away.
It is not like I feel I have anything to be embarrassed about. I may have flamed out of USC the first time around, but seriously, I wasn’t ready for it emotionally or academically. If I owe anyone an apology for all of that it is my mom, and only because at that point it was still her money being spent. I can’t regret the flame out though. Had I gone straight through school, I never would have discovered how much I enjoyed and excelled at working with children, many of my friends would still be strangers, and I definitely wouldn’t be wearing an Army uniform right now.
Maybe it is more an apprehension about what right way to reconnect with someone I haven’t seen in nearly a decade. I have recently “run into” all these people from high school with things like MySpace and Facebook. It is one of those things where I am excited that all these people are alive and well, but damn, I have no freaking idea what to say to them. I guess a simple “Hi” might work. But that seems like the sort of thing that the insecure teenager would have said 10 years ago.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
I should write for Rolling Stone...
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Wednesday, March 08, 2006
ummmm
If you hadn’t noticed, I have not really written much the last few days. I have been in such a bad mood due to the flu and some other things that I didn’t want to turn this into one big bitching session. Some things that have crossed my mind though…
-A friend casually compared our invasion/ occupation of Iraq to when you take a mouthful of coffee and realize it is scolding hot. At first I thought it was simply a funny analogy. As I thought about it though, I realized that it really fits our situation.
You can’t really swallow it because your insides will get wrecked. Spitting it out is just bad form because you’ll make a big mess and possibly burn others in the process. Letting it sit in your mouth and cool off wouldn’t be a very good idea either. The problem with this last option is that you will burn off so many taste buds that you won’t be able to enjoy anything else for quite a while. You might also injure your mouth. It is really a no-win situation.
The best thing to do is not rush into your cup of coffee. You should check the temperature. Possibly test the waters a bit with a finger. Blow on it a bit and cool it off. Maybe take a tiny little sip before opening wide. You need to do your homework first. This will keep you out of the no-win situation altogether.
-Maybe now that she has an Oscar, Reece Witherspoon will ditch that dooshbag Ryan Philippe. Then he can marry Rachel Leigh Cook and they can consummate the anti-Pacino; a dead pan, actor with less talent than the world has ever seen. This beast will crumble films as we now know them.
-All of you should start reading these two sports columnists:
Bill Simmons of ESPN.com’s page 2.
T.J. Simers of the LA Times
Those two are my favorite sportswriters and they should be yours too.
-A friend casually compared our invasion/ occupation of Iraq to when you take a mouthful of coffee and realize it is scolding hot. At first I thought it was simply a funny analogy. As I thought about it though, I realized that it really fits our situation.
You can’t really swallow it because your insides will get wrecked. Spitting it out is just bad form because you’ll make a big mess and possibly burn others in the process. Letting it sit in your mouth and cool off wouldn’t be a very good idea either. The problem with this last option is that you will burn off so many taste buds that you won’t be able to enjoy anything else for quite a while. You might also injure your mouth. It is really a no-win situation.
The best thing to do is not rush into your cup of coffee. You should check the temperature. Possibly test the waters a bit with a finger. Blow on it a bit and cool it off. Maybe take a tiny little sip before opening wide. You need to do your homework first. This will keep you out of the no-win situation altogether.
-Maybe now that she has an Oscar, Reece Witherspoon will ditch that dooshbag Ryan Philippe. Then he can marry Rachel Leigh Cook and they can consummate the anti-Pacino; a dead pan, actor with less talent than the world has ever seen. This beast will crumble films as we now know them.
-All of you should start reading these two sports columnists:
Bill Simmons of ESPN.com’s page 2.
T.J. Simers of the LA Times
Those two are my favorite sportswriters and they should be yours too.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Now The Whole World Can Hear Me Bitch and Whine
I got no sleep last night. Literally. I tossed and turned forever, and finally gave up a few hours before work. Dragging ass and feening for my bed were the activities of the day. This would not have been so bad if my job was not to sit in front of a computer for 12 hours. Pile on that the minimal amount of work we had to do, and you can get the general idea.
I am sick too. I was feeling great yesterday. However, a night with no sleep, while draining me, seems to have energized the flu bug. I lose.
Sidenote: I blame the fact I have the flu on the Army forcing me to take a flu shot. I told the doctor that I got sick when I took it last year at school.
Tough shit Chuck. There is no reaction in your file, so you get it this year.
Even more off to the sidenote: Most people I know who take the flew shot get sick anyways. So why the hell are we paying a pharmaceutical company to get us sick? Why can’t we just skip it and get sick for free? People always bitch and whine about tax dollars going to waste because of the war and what not. Well if they really want to complain, they should complain about the military buying flu shots for all the troops and ORDERING them to take it!
Let’s see, do I have anything else to bitch and “woe is me” about?
Always…
-Sac High lost both the Men’s and Women’s Section Championship games.
-Terrence Howard didn’t win the best actor Oscar.
-We got knocked out of a 3 on 3 tournament by 3 players I know I am better than.
-The E-6 added yet another chaptor to his “Idiot’s Guide To Being an Idiot” manual.
-Apparently I am an asshole because I thought it stupid to rub the hands and comfort a terrorist breathing through a valve because he was, you know…injured trying to kill Americans. Seriously, how many other countries take enemy combatants and give them the care we do? For my sake I hope it is all of them; I am not counting on it though.
-I am coughing so much that my body aches and I feel pain in my forearms. What the hell is up with THAT?
-I got disconnected when I was talking to Becky the other day. I wasn’t happy because we don’t get to talk enough anymore; my new schedule is not conducive to it so far.
-USC lost to Cal; I HATE Cal.
I am sick too. I was feeling great yesterday. However, a night with no sleep, while draining me, seems to have energized the flu bug. I lose.
Sidenote: I blame the fact I have the flu on the Army forcing me to take a flu shot. I told the doctor that I got sick when I took it last year at school.
Tough shit Chuck. There is no reaction in your file, so you get it this year.
Even more off to the sidenote: Most people I know who take the flew shot get sick anyways. So why the hell are we paying a pharmaceutical company to get us sick? Why can’t we just skip it and get sick for free? People always bitch and whine about tax dollars going to waste because of the war and what not. Well if they really want to complain, they should complain about the military buying flu shots for all the troops and ORDERING them to take it!
Let’s see, do I have anything else to bitch and “woe is me” about?
Always…
-Sac High lost both the Men’s and Women’s Section Championship games.
-Terrence Howard didn’t win the best actor Oscar.
-We got knocked out of a 3 on 3 tournament by 3 players I know I am better than.
-The E-6 added yet another chaptor to his “Idiot’s Guide To Being an Idiot” manual.
-Apparently I am an asshole because I thought it stupid to rub the hands and comfort a terrorist breathing through a valve because he was, you know…injured trying to kill Americans. Seriously, how many other countries take enemy combatants and give them the care we do? For my sake I hope it is all of them; I am not counting on it though.
-I am coughing so much that my body aches and I feel pain in my forearms. What the hell is up with THAT?
-I got disconnected when I was talking to Becky the other day. I wasn’t happy because we don’t get to talk enough anymore; my new schedule is not conducive to it so far.
-USC lost to Cal; I HATE Cal.
Friday, March 03, 2006
From The Bleachers
Being deployed to Iraq makes it hard to watch sporting events from the states live. They don't show very many, and when they do show them they are on at the ass-crack of dawn. Lucky me, I work right through the ass crack of dawn so I couldn't watch them if I wanted to. What I can do though is follow along on my computer using the little gametrackers that various websites have. These things are great. They provide up to the minute stats and a little transcript of all the action. I watch these things like I am watching the game itself. Why?
Because I am a loser.
I pretend I am not only watching the game on TV, but that I am at the game.
Tonight I told Stanford's men's basketball team repeatedly that they sucked and that they were getting what they deserved. I pleaded to my Trojans to just hit a bucket. I called out "let's go" at least 4 times. I asked Tim Floyd why he didn't go back to the big lineup. I was sitting on fucking pins and needles as the game went through the final minute. It was painstakingly slow, what with time outs and all. Though I obviously didn't see the final play, I just knew that USC must have gotten jobbed on that foul call; I even let the refs know it in my own vocal way.
The thing to keep in mind is that I have coworkers in my office looking at me like I am freaking crazy. You know what though?
I really didn't care in the least. I was AT the game!!!
Because I am a loser.
I pretend I am not only watching the game on TV, but that I am at the game.
Tonight I told Stanford's men's basketball team repeatedly that they sucked and that they were getting what they deserved. I pleaded to my Trojans to just hit a bucket. I called out "let's go" at least 4 times. I asked Tim Floyd why he didn't go back to the big lineup. I was sitting on fucking pins and needles as the game went through the final minute. It was painstakingly slow, what with time outs and all. Though I obviously didn't see the final play, I just knew that USC must have gotten jobbed on that foul call; I even let the refs know it in my own vocal way.
The thing to keep in mind is that I have coworkers in my office looking at me like I am freaking crazy. You know what though?
I really didn't care in the least. I was AT the game!!!
Thursday, March 02, 2006
This Is What We Are Up Against...
I met an 11 year old detainee who was here with his older brother because they were paid by the insurgents to plant IED's.
"What was the going rate?" you might ask...
$10 per IED
I didn't know whether to feel anger, sadness, or pity.
"What was the going rate?" you might ask...
$10 per IED
I didn't know whether to feel anger, sadness, or pity.
I Hate That Game
The worst conversation a group of people can have entails nothing but
"Do you remember (insert rediculous cartoon, snack, TV show, fad from the good ole days)?"
I absolutely hate this game; I call it a game because it seems that the participants are trying to compete for the title of Most Wishing They Were 12 Again. It is annoying and serves no purpose.
We had a drill the other day and I was stuck in a hallway full of people who wouldn't shut up about it. It would be one thing if they went into some sort of conversation about experiences with the various fads/toys/cartoons. That never happens though. It always seems to go like this...
"Hey do you remember that one hit wonder band that sold like 600 million records?"
"Yeah, I loved Milli Vanilla Ace of New Kids on the Blowfish"
"They were great. Hey remember G.I. My Little Rainbow Mutant Transformer Pail Kids?"
"Oh man, I thought I was the only one who had those?!"
and so on...
and so on...
and so on...
I was standing in the hallway just hating life. What is the deal with nostalgia anyways? I mean, don't get me wrong, I like old music. I love old movies. I can't put down some classic books. But you will never hear me spend an hour spouting off "Do You Remember's?" And if I do drop one from time to time, it is to use as a reference for a story. I guess it is a way for soldiers from different backgrounds to find some common ground, but damn it is annoying for those of us that really don't give a shit.
"Do you remember (insert rediculous cartoon, snack, TV show, fad from the good ole days)?"
I absolutely hate this game; I call it a game because it seems that the participants are trying to compete for the title of Most Wishing They Were 12 Again. It is annoying and serves no purpose.
We had a drill the other day and I was stuck in a hallway full of people who wouldn't shut up about it. It would be one thing if they went into some sort of conversation about experiences with the various fads/toys/cartoons. That never happens though. It always seems to go like this...
"Hey do you remember that one hit wonder band that sold like 600 million records?"
"Yeah, I loved Milli Vanilla Ace of New Kids on the Blowfish"
"They were great. Hey remember G.I. My Little Rainbow Mutant Transformer Pail Kids?"
"Oh man, I thought I was the only one who had those?!"
and so on...
and so on...
and so on...
I was standing in the hallway just hating life. What is the deal with nostalgia anyways? I mean, don't get me wrong, I like old music. I love old movies. I can't put down some classic books. But you will never hear me spend an hour spouting off "Do You Remember's?" And if I do drop one from time to time, it is to use as a reference for a story. I guess it is a way for soldiers from different backgrounds to find some common ground, but damn it is annoying for those of us that really don't give a shit.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
The Best Thing About Tuesday...
I am a lover not a fighter.
I attack with my vicious rhetoric.
I joined the Army so I could shoot people instead.
These are all reasons I give to people who cannot believe that I have never gotten into a real fistfight or even thrown a real punch before. It is true though. The closest thing to a fight I've gotten into was in Jr High when I shoved some kid, who had been messing with me, into the crowd of on-lookers about 10 Ft away. He just left. So no fight.
There was boxing night at the frat house, but that was just fun between friends. That night though, was the only time I've ever thrown a punch. And it was half speed, half power, and half intended.
So needless to say I was pretty excited about my first boxing lesson last night. My teacher, or I guess "trainer" is the proper jargon, asked me what my experience was. I said that there was none and described myself as a block of clay ready to be molded.
First thing we did was check out my foot coordination; so out came the jumprope. I was ready to dazzle like the jump roping pro that any 7 year old girl is. I then discovered that I am no 7 year old girl, as a I stumbled and couldn't get more than 15 jumps in a row. We wont even discuss what happened when I was told to alternate feet.
Homework Assignment #1- Jumping Rope for improved cardio, coordination, and self esteem.
I then learned the basics of standing and jabbing and moving. I got pushed over when my balance was bad; I had my punch smacked intot eh side of my head if I didn't bring it back fast enough; I had a really good time. I was tired as shit and could barely lift my left arm by the time we were done, but I am ready for more. I even can't wait to do my homework. I have not had homework in over a year. For some reason getting some homework was the best thing about Tuesday.
I attack with my vicious rhetoric.
I joined the Army so I could shoot people instead.
These are all reasons I give to people who cannot believe that I have never gotten into a real fistfight or even thrown a real punch before. It is true though. The closest thing to a fight I've gotten into was in Jr High when I shoved some kid, who had been messing with me, into the crowd of on-lookers about 10 Ft away. He just left. So no fight.
There was boxing night at the frat house, but that was just fun between friends. That night though, was the only time I've ever thrown a punch. And it was half speed, half power, and half intended.
So needless to say I was pretty excited about my first boxing lesson last night. My teacher, or I guess "trainer" is the proper jargon, asked me what my experience was. I said that there was none and described myself as a block of clay ready to be molded.
First thing we did was check out my foot coordination; so out came the jumprope. I was ready to dazzle like the jump roping pro that any 7 year old girl is. I then discovered that I am no 7 year old girl, as a I stumbled and couldn't get more than 15 jumps in a row. We wont even discuss what happened when I was told to alternate feet.
Homework Assignment #1- Jumping Rope for improved cardio, coordination, and self esteem.
I then learned the basics of standing and jabbing and moving. I got pushed over when my balance was bad; I had my punch smacked intot eh side of my head if I didn't bring it back fast enough; I had a really good time. I was tired as shit and could barely lift my left arm by the time we were done, but I am ready for more. I even can't wait to do my homework. I have not had homework in over a year. For some reason getting some homework was the best thing about Tuesday.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Sitting at work with nothing to do...
Since I left the visitation center I have really run out of material. No kids to complain about; no parents to lament; no toys to lug around. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy life at in-processing, but I really don't find it all that interesting anymore. Plus, the shift is longer everyday, so my free-time has been drastically shortened. Point being, that more and more of what I think about now has nothing to do with my job and location.
Here are some random thoughts…
-Last week I watched the first season of Desperate Housewives. It has all the characteristics of a horrible TV show: bad acting, cartoonish stereotypes, a predictable plot, the wise beyond her years/ smarter than mom/ really annoying teenage daughter, and Teri Hatcher; I had forgotten just how bad an actress she was. It is no wonder that she won the Golden Globe and Felicity Huffman won the Emmy. Teri joins the ever growing list of “Isn’t This Category for Acting?” Golden Globe winners like Madonna, and Paul Hogan (yes, Crocodile Dundee himself). And don’t even get me started on that holier than thou, omniscient, voice-over which contributes nothing to the show outside of stating the obvious. While it is cute and all that the dead lady watches over everyone, it would be nice to get a little insight like what the narrators on The Wonder Years or Arrested Development give. And that “breathy” voice she uses just makes me cringe.
Despite all these things, I was hooked. The writing was clever, funny, and captivating. Marcia Cross is amazing; in my opinion, she should have won both Golden Globe and Emmy awards. I found myself both getting into the story and caring about the characters. I can’t wait until I can get my hands on a bootleg copy of the second season once it is completed.
-All the magazines have started coming. It is GREAT!! So far I’ve gotten Esquire, Rolling Stone, Entertainment Weekly, Sports Illustrated, and The New Yorker. I read them all right away and then bring them to work to share with everyone else. Everyone I work with appreciates the link to the real world.
-The most bang for the buck definitely comes from The New Yorker. There is so much stuff packed into an issue. It takes me almost 4 days to read the whole thing. This is the complete opposite of Entertainment Weekly and SI, which I read both of in one evening. All the articles in The New Yorker are just so long. It has to be like reading a short book. Good stuff though.
-I read The House of The Seven Gables this week. Oh…my…lord, that is one boring book. He manages to cram about 50 pages of story into about 300 pages of novel. Good job Nate. I really was not interested in the way he described every minute detail of every damned person and thing in the book to me. What the hell ever happened to letting the reader use their imagination?
Here are some random thoughts…
-Last week I watched the first season of Desperate Housewives. It has all the characteristics of a horrible TV show: bad acting, cartoonish stereotypes, a predictable plot, the wise beyond her years/ smarter than mom/ really annoying teenage daughter, and Teri Hatcher; I had forgotten just how bad an actress she was. It is no wonder that she won the Golden Globe and Felicity Huffman won the Emmy. Teri joins the ever growing list of “Isn’t This Category for Acting?” Golden Globe winners like Madonna, and Paul Hogan (yes, Crocodile Dundee himself). And don’t even get me started on that holier than thou, omniscient, voice-over which contributes nothing to the show outside of stating the obvious. While it is cute and all that the dead lady watches over everyone, it would be nice to get a little insight like what the narrators on The Wonder Years or Arrested Development give. And that “breathy” voice she uses just makes me cringe.
Despite all these things, I was hooked. The writing was clever, funny, and captivating. Marcia Cross is amazing; in my opinion, she should have won both Golden Globe and Emmy awards. I found myself both getting into the story and caring about the characters. I can’t wait until I can get my hands on a bootleg copy of the second season once it is completed.
-All the magazines have started coming. It is GREAT!! So far I’ve gotten Esquire, Rolling Stone, Entertainment Weekly, Sports Illustrated, and The New Yorker. I read them all right away and then bring them to work to share with everyone else. Everyone I work with appreciates the link to the real world.
-The most bang for the buck definitely comes from The New Yorker. There is so much stuff packed into an issue. It takes me almost 4 days to read the whole thing. This is the complete opposite of Entertainment Weekly and SI, which I read both of in one evening. All the articles in The New Yorker are just so long. It has to be like reading a short book. Good stuff though.
-I read The House of The Seven Gables this week. Oh…my…lord, that is one boring book. He manages to cram about 50 pages of story into about 300 pages of novel. Good job Nate. I really was not interested in the way he described every minute detail of every damned person and thing in the book to me. What the hell ever happened to letting the reader use their imagination?
Monday, February 27, 2006
Never the wrong time for ice cream...
Living in a combat zone, you tend to take fire from the locals. Generally they aren't really aiming at anything and are just hoping they get lucky. Honestly, you get used to it after the first few times simply because you reconcile yourself to the fact that there isn't all that much you can do. If you are outside, you go to a bunker or get indoors for some cover. The one's who have it real bad are the detainees because they don't wear all the gear we do, so a stray round is bad for them.
We got some the other day when I was working. Everyone put all their gear on and some people were getting really excited. I took the opportunity to eat a bowl of ice cream from the freezer in the break room. It was rainbow sherbet. I hadn't had any for a while; generally I eat cookies and cream or mint chip, but today all there happened to be was rainbow sherbet. Rainbow sherbet is kind of a little kid flavor of ice cream; in fact, until I discovered chocolate malted crunch at Thrifty, it was my favorite growing up. It doesn't really match the uniform either. I think the only flavor that is worse to eat in uniform is strawberry. The best is probably chocolate. For some reason I think that chocolate is the flavor that embodies the Army the best.
I'll make sure to have some in the freezer for the next attack.
We got some the other day when I was working. Everyone put all their gear on and some people were getting really excited. I took the opportunity to eat a bowl of ice cream from the freezer in the break room. It was rainbow sherbet. I hadn't had any for a while; generally I eat cookies and cream or mint chip, but today all there happened to be was rainbow sherbet. Rainbow sherbet is kind of a little kid flavor of ice cream; in fact, until I discovered chocolate malted crunch at Thrifty, it was my favorite growing up. It doesn't really match the uniform either. I think the only flavor that is worse to eat in uniform is strawberry. The best is probably chocolate. For some reason I think that chocolate is the flavor that embodies the Army the best.
I'll make sure to have some in the freezer for the next attack.
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