Reminiscing a bit on work...

In less than 24 hours I will be on a flight out of the Middle East.

Whew!!

This year has been nothing like I expected. For starters, my job was a lot more administrative than I ever could have imagined. Everything I had imagined an MP would do in a combat zone (convoy security, raids, law & order types of things, gate guards) never materialized for me. Hell, my weapon wasn’t even loaded 99.9% of the last year.
I was the supervisor of the detainee in-processing section of a prison. Think about that. Every person arrested, released, and transferred came through our doors. We processed 51,000 detainees. D you have any idea how badly 51,000 Iraqis smell? I was on the phone with the Pentagon weekly. Hell, I used to talk shit to people who worked at the Pentagon!!
Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to toot my own horn or anything. It just boggles the mind to think that I, a college flunkie with bad grades and absolutely zero experience, was placed in charge of all that. Seriously, do you think I could get a job as a manager/supervisor at San Quentin? Or a supervisor position at central booking for the LAPD? They wouldn’t even call me back. Or if I was lucky and I got to start at the bottom, would I make it to the big chair in only 5 months? The Army really is an amazing organization.
The most important thing that I tried to pass on to my replacements was how important their job was. For a lot of them, it is simply a boring desk job, but it really is a job where they can literally see how they are affecting the war. Every person they enter into the system is one less on the street. Every fingerprint they take may help catch a criminal later on. So while it may not be as glamorous as what the guy who arrested the detainee did, it is just as important.
I will miss the people I worked with a lot. From time to time we butted heads, but they were almost always on the ball and they made my job so much easier. One of my favorite things to do was to deflect praise from myself to my crew. They worked as a team and made everything happen.
It wasn’t always easy. We seemed to have bad luck in the supervisor department. We went from one who was confrontational, incompetent, never consulted his shift leaders, and literally contributed nothing, to one who believed that our job was not real work because we sat behind computers. There were full on arguments on this subject often. I fought tooth and nail. Sometimes I won, sometimes I lost. But I think everyone knew I had their back.
I guess it just boiled down to the fact that I didn’t like doing things that made no sense, and I was very open about it to whoever it was that was requesting things that made no sense. What was even worse was when they called and seemed to have no idea what they were talking about. These are 5 of my favorite phone calls in this regard:

Example 1:
Phone: I need you to fix this mistake you made on detainee such and such’s record.
Me: I can’t. He got transferred and so they need to do it.
Phone: NO!!! This is YOUR mistake and YOU will fix it.
(Just Breathe Charlie)
Me: I don’t have privileges to adjust the record of someone who isn’t here. So they have to do it.
Phone: Fuck, you are right.
(What a surprise)

Example 2
Phone: Yeah, I put such and such number into the system and got more than one person with the same number?
Me: Really? Hmmm Well let me punch in the number… Ok, one of these is some sort of civilian record. I think his badge number was just the same as the detainee’s detention number. That will happen from time to time.
Phone: Well which is the right guy?
Me: Dude, one picture is of a young guy in a yellow prison jumpsuit, the other is of an old man in a business suit.
Phone: So which is it?
(Oh, great one, deliver me!)

Example 3:
Phone: Why don’t we have copies of the records for yada through yada-yada?
Me: I don’t know, I took you records yesterday. They are probably in there.
Phone: Well they aren’t there and we should have these.
Me: Ok what are the numbers again? Wait? I am looking at them sitting right in front of me; we just started putting them in the system! Why are you calling me about these? I bring records to you every Wednesday. Today is Thursday, so on Wednesday you’ll get them. We’ve been doing it this way for months. What is wrong with you?
(Are you freaking kidding me?)

Example 4:
Phone: Why did you do this system transfer?
Me: I don’t know it was on the other shift.
Phone: Well you need to go and wake them up because we need to know exactly why this was done and why we weren’t notified. Don’t you guys have some sort of log book that you keep track of this stuff in, so everyone knows what is going on? You guys really need one. I am going to send one of my people over with it tonight. I’ll even mark it “log book” for you.
Me (after waking up the other shift leader): I woke him up and he said they told you guys both before and after the transfer happened this morning. Did you check YOUR log book?
Phone: We don’t have one.
Me: You want to keep the one you were gonna send us for yourself then?
Phone: We don’t need one because we communicate with each other.
Me: You sure didn’t communicate this time did you?
Phone: You are enjoying this aren’t you?
(You bet your sweet ass I am)

Example 5:
Phone: Hey what is up with such and such?
Me: I don’t know let me check.
While checking I hear a voice in the background on other end of phone: Who are you talking to?
Caller: SGT Baker-Boyd
Voice: What!! Don’t talk to him, talk to the other guy!!
(I think that moment was one of the most fulfilling of the entire deployment)

A Reading From Charlie's Letter to The San Franciscans...

It seems like I have written more than a few apologies for my lack updates to the real world. Since you said pretty please though...

Tonight there was a gorgeous lightning storm off in the distance. It is just one of the most amazing things to watch. I decided to walk back to work from the dining facility so I could keep watching the show.

"Joke's on you Chuck!!!"

Mother Nature pretty much bitch slapped me on the walk back. First there was a freaking sandstorm that literally almost knocked me over. Then it started to rain, which turned the dry sand storm into kind of a mud sand storm. That really was an uncomfortable walk back. Though I it was gorgeous until elements kicked in.

I just moved out of my barracks today and into the transient tents. I will be outta here in less than a week and in Sacramento in about two.
I fucking win.
We had to move in the morning which was a pain in the ass because it did not leave me an opportunity to sleep last night. So as of 0100 here in Baghdad, I am running on 36 hours of no sleep and will probably reach 40 before I get to bed; even then there is no catching up because I have to wake up for some ridiculous ceremony or something. I better get a damned award, otherwise it really wont be worth it.
It was weird packing. I had the incredible mixed emotions of wanting to go home yet not wanting to pack up any of my stuff. I think I just hate moving in general; subconscious point could also be that we were leaving nice comfy barracks for shitty tents. But I am gonna be home in two weeks!!

I am thinking more and more that if I ever come over here again it will be as a civilian. I would make at least 3 times the money and would have a lot more comfort and freedoms. Someone was talking about a position that would be quasi-related to my experiences here and it has me really thinking about things. It all depends on what happens with my attempt to get back into school I guess. But if the point of going to school is to set yourself up for a means to live comfortably, is it bad to take a means that doesn't require it? Seriously, would it make sense to put off school for a year and come back with between 150 and 200 thousand in the bank? Put off school for a year and then go back to school not having to worry about money at all. Hell, maybe finish school making house payments instead of rent payments.
Just curious.

I think that I will really miss my job when I get back. This is the first time that I have ever really run something. I mean, obviously I am down on the chain, but what I have been doing is important and I'll miss being a part of something big. I'll miss my crew and I'll miss being the one that people come to to make decisions. I won't miss being away from home and I wont miss some of the hypocrites that I work under. But I will miss making things happen.

But the best parts of my days recently have been planning my time home until Christmas.
I am pretty much just going to be bouncing around between the two ends of California (with a trip to Vegas tossed in) until the week before Turkey Day. That week, my mom is taking me to NYC for my first ever trip. I am pretty stoked about that; though I am NOT stoked about the parade I am sure I'm gonna have to watch.
From NYC I am gonna skip across the pond to London and visit Brian and the Brits. I am pretty excited about that. I want to try to go to a couple soccer games while I am there. I'll be in England about three weeks.
From there I fly to Barcelona where I plan to live the hedonistic lifestyle of the traveling tourist. Culture by day and partying by night. Everyone I know who has been there has loved that city. So I just hope I do too. 10 days in Barca baby!
Anyways, my playtime takes me to Christmas. After that I will have to decide for sure whether or not I enroll in classes or get a job. But I decided that before I do all of that, I finally make it to Europe. No more excuses.

Anyways, there is a summary of what goes on in my little world right now. It is actually kind of funny, I feel like everyone will be so different and I will be behind the ball. I don't know if you watch South Park, but it is like 1995 man (or whatever year it was). Dude gets frozen in an avalanche for like 3 years and comes back and the world has completely changed (you know, no more Ace of Base). I just hope I don't end up having to move to Boise like he did.